INDYCAR: The Paddock Pulse (October 13 Edition)

It's been a long weekend for us here at Pop Off Valve. Let it be known that I, like most trollish, back-hair-having overweight basement dwellers, crave publicity and attention. But I always hoped it would be because I discovered a cure for gout, developed a solution to non-invasively eliminate mold from bathroom shower walls, or eating 200 platesful of Steak 'n' Shake fries in one sitting. The 15 minutes of fame I got from maintaining the Shane Hmiel vigil over the weekend... well, let's just say that the last thing on my mind was getting attention or notoriety. Thankfully, Shane is doing better than anyone could have hoped and things are settling back to a semblance of normalcy.

And for me, "normal" is bestowing page views on the super-duper folks who cohabitate the blogosphere with me! That's right, it's another edition of The Paddock Pulse, and you're about to see that not even an off-season can stop my fellow word-butchers from BRINGING THE AWESOME to your computer screens.

Hit the jump for this week's link-u-copia...

• The 2010 Paggies® [The Silent Pagoda]
  You know how the Hillstrand brothers and Sig Hansen all threatened to quit Deadliest Catch because of a Discovery Channel lawsuit? Yeah, they're not quitting after all. Which is good, because without those guys Deadliest Catch would be a sick, sad consumption-laced failure. There's a point here about Hobbson and the Pagoda, but I forgot what it was because I suddenly am craving CRAB LEGS AND BUTTER.

• MFW podcast episode 33 [More Front Wing]
  I never noticed it until now, but Steph Wallcraft of More Front Wing sounds just like Cobie Smulders, the Canadian hottie who plays Robin Sherbotsky on How I Met Your Mother. Seriously! As if the voice of a lady who loves Greg Moore, hockey, and Monty Python isn't already awesome enough... now you can imagine the Hoser Hut and an Old King Clancy to boot. (Or is it "boat"? I always get mixed up on that Canadian accent.)

• What Determines A Legacy? [Oilpressure]
  I like reading George's musings, especially when he gets especially reflective. But I think he really missed the boat here, because it's obvious that this whole question boils down to one thing: former NHL goalie Manny Legace. And what determines a Legace? HIS PARENTS. Honestly, I think I learned that in high school science class. IT'S GENETICS, George. Do I have to explain why blue eyes are more common than other colors? (Please don't ask, I can't remember.)

• IndyCar Season Review: Helio Castroneves [Open Wheel America]
  Simba's been a busy cub this week, as it appears he's bound and determined to review the entire 2010 IndyCar season driver by driver. Personally, I can't wait until he gets to Milka Duno. I want to see how many paragraphs he can stretch that review out to - and I don't think THESAURUS.COM has all that many synonyms for "slow." GOOD LUCK, YOUNG LION.

• Damn You, Nationbusch ... DAMN YOU [pressdog]
  So you remember earlier this season when Twitter revealed photos of Bill chatting up Ms. Patrick at her hauler? Ever since then I've been getting this VIBE from ol' p'dog when the subject turns to Lady Hospenthal. Like, the faintest mental image of an amorous couple lodged on the branch of some towering oak breaking down their activities into individual letters. What could have happened in that interview to heat his Maverick dog-tags? (I'm thinking a GoDaddy.com-style commercial with a big wind generator, a plunging zipper, and Kenny Loggins screeching "Danger Zone" in the background.)

• Photo Shoot: 33 Indy 500 Winning Cars [Official IndyCar.com Blog]
  Thought you'd like to see what I've been keeping in my garage lately. BOOM, BABY! Because I own all 33 of these cars!! THEY'RE MINE! *breaks down into uncontrollable sobbing when he looks out into his garage and sees a 2005 Toyota Matrix*

• 2010 IndyCar Season Wrapup - What A Finish! [Versus/Olson]
  Jeff posits the notion that Frico Suave's championship will be what fans will be talking about 20 years from now. Really? I find that a little hard to believe, unless the fans Jeff's talking about are those with a keen interest in controversial art. You know, the ones who love the "Nietzschean superman rides a Flintstone wheel" trophy, or Ashley Judd doing strange interpretive dances while wearing a bra-less sundress and floppy hat in front of traffic on the I-5 in Los Angeles (or, as she describes it, "grocery shopping").

Final Thoughts

Things to keep you busy this off-season:

1. Keep Shane Hmiel and his family in your thoughts.
2. Donate to a good cause.
3. Find great holiday gifts for your racing buddies.