Sorry I'm late, folks. Had to stop by the vet's to pick up my kid's cat, who just underwent a $1,800 gastrointestinal surgery because she ate a piece of string that got tied around her tongue and then nearly eviscerated her (Note to self: See if this would work with Glenn Beck). So it doesn't look like I'm going to be scaling back to two jobs anytime soon.
The Paddock Pulse is a little light on the links, yo, because... well, I'm not sure why. I'm guessing maybe it's because of the absolute paralysis that everyone is suffering because ZOMG THERE MIGHT BE SOME GOOD NEWS DURING THE OFFSEASON!!!!!!!!!1
That's right - this Friday, Randy Bernard has scheduled
a giant mass fan orgasm an announcement that will proclaim MANUFACTURER COMPETITION for 2012. That's the good news. Of course, for every silver lining there's an enormous black cloud ready to excrete hail onto our heads, and that black cloud happens to be that not-egotistic-whatsoever Peter De Lorenzo might actually be right about something, which means that the end of the world is comin' early, folks.
Hit the jump for this week's links, while I go and create a feline post-op ward in my shower.
Rumor: What about Fiat? [Indy Racing Revolution]
Been a while since I've let ol' Ponch REV THE THROTTLE on the Pulse, so here's a piece he has for us that should get your SIREN BLARING and have you POPPING WHEELIES in excitement. (This makes sense if you know about a TV show that aired 35 years ago; if you have never seen CHiPs, then I'm sure you probably would rather hear about Hobbson licking psychedelic swamp slugs.)
Where Is Everybody? [Oilpressure]
Here's your answer, George - everyone has retreated into their customary off-season Sky Is Falling Shelters, waiting for the next bit of bad news to come at them like a steel-toed boot to the groin apples. That's where they'd be even if there were good news to report (like this Friday's BIG EFFIN' ANNOUNCEMENT), because old habits die hard. Be kind to them, young Padawan, for they have been too long in the thrall of the Dark Side. (And yes, while that IS a lightsaber in my pocket, I'm still happy to see you.)
All the cool kids are DOING IT… [the_race_gIRL]
I won't lie. Seeing Monica type the words "DOING IT" makes my skin get all tingly and gets my toes a-tappin'. It's more thrilling than when Hobbson takes the Word Butcher Mob out for a night of drunken stupor and urinary graffiti. So while I fully endorse her post about the Official IndyCar Calendar (that paragon of charitable fundage), I'm still a bit disappointed that it had so little to say about the whole "DOING IT" thing.
Tricky Sponsor Situation Could Send Kanaan Trucking For NASCAR [Versus/Olson]
I'm torn. I love the NASCAR Camping World Truck Series. So seeing Tony Kanaan drive there wouldn't be the sphincter-eviscerating agony for me that many IndyCar fans believe it would be. Then again, since I work on and off in that series and have a good idea about team finances, I can't for the life of me figure out who the hell would have enough money to pay TK's salary. Unless Max Papis wants to share some of his GEICO money (Max's nickname? Gordon GECKO. It's [almost] true!).
While the upcoming manufacturer announcement is certainly positive news, let's remember what real good news is: Shane Hmiel was able to wiggle his toes and is back home in North Carolina. Stay strong, Shane!