The Paddock Pulse: May 12 Edition

Paddock Pulse Splash

Saturday, May 22nd is Pole Day at Indianapolis, and no, it has nothing to do with the strip clubs on the other side of 16th Street. It means that the faaaaaaaastest cars in the world nation state IZOD IndyCar Series will be gunning for the top starting spot in the Indianapolis 500-Mile Race.

This weekend is just Opening Day and Rookie Orientation. Pssh. I mean, man, am I ever excited!

But today's Wednesday, and all the excitement in the world isn't going to keep me from doing my due diligence to my fellow word butchers. You know why? Because these guys and gals are wonderful people who would not hesitate to FedEx me a Mug 'N' Bun tenderloin sandwich and root beer, a case of freshly baked Long's Donuts, and several boxes of Roselyn tea cookies if I asked them to and paid them handsomely to do it.

And yes, I just discovered the "strikeout" button on my WYSIWYG editor.

A droolworthy display of this week's savory sugar- and frosting-sprinkled confections from the blog-kery after the jump.

  • Carb Day Miscreants Who You’ll Want to Avoid [The Silent Pagoda]
    They say, "It takes one to know one." Who are "they," you might ask? A fair question, and one that in recent weeks has been much on my mind. Um. Wait. Okay. I just got off track there a little bit. What was I talking about? Oh yes. Hobbson and miscreants. Or, more precisely, some photos that are posted in this article that cannot be unseen. Trust me, even the thought of them is forcing my brain to distract itself in any way possiLOOK! BUTTERFLIES!

  • A New Appreciation for Speed [Drive Hard, Turn Left]
    There's plenty of goodness this week at Drive Hard, Turn Left, but I picked this particular article because... well, I had to pick one. I encourage you to just head over to the site and read all of the May entries. Meanwhile, from now on I'm going to call Bill Potter "Sherman T." or "The Colonel," because if nothing else I've proved that I'm capable of annoying my fellow bloggers by nicknaming them Chris Berman-style.

  • Three little words...One big problem. [Indy Racing Revolution]
    I love how everyone has jumped onto the rebrandwagon lately. Back on April 23rd, I wrote a little epistle on the subject, and people HATED the idea. Okay, so just one person did. Actually, he didn't HATE the idea, he just disagreed with it. But it felt like hate. Why do people hate me??? *runs and hides under rock*

  • The 24 Hours of IndyCar [My Name Is IRL]
    There are three reasons why I'm linking to this article. First, Jeff's site still gives me the most referrals, and I owe him big. Second, Declan Brennan (the writer) is my main man from the other side of the pond, and I wanted to shout him out so I could make an excuse to give him his new POV nickname: "Declan's Midnight Runners." And finally, there are pretty, pretty pictures of Le Mans prototypes in there. And those are a racing addict's VIAGRA(tm), baby!

  • When Will Overhead Won The Indy 500 [Oilpressure]
    I love the Will Overhead story. I never get tired of hearing it because it just goes to show that history can poke holes in even the greatest inflated egos. THAT'S RIGHT, MAINSTREAM MEDIA, AT ONE TIME EVEN YOU WERE GUILTY OF MAKING STUFF UP OUT OF THIN AIR OUT OF IGNORANCE AND LAZINESS!! Ohhh, does that ever feel good. That might actually have saved me some money in therapy! Can this day get any better?

  • Randy Bernard Looks to String Together Solid Singles, Not Towering Home Runs []
    Look, Bill. I'm getting pretty damn tired of your enormous avalanche of schwerve that is leading to your ultra-prolific postings at the 'Dog pound. Do you know how difficult it is to put these stupid clippings posts together?? (Ed. note: Actually, the SBNation clippings widget couldn't be simpler. It's literally a matter of clicking one button and*GUNSHOT* We'll have no more of THAT, "Ed." Muahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa! Does anyone have any Xanax?

  • Part 1- My Humongous Astronomical 2010 Indy 500 Blog Mess [Walter Zoomie's World]
    There are six parts - so far - to Walter Zoomie's epic Month of May blog. I'll be honest, I haven't read all of it yet because my attention span has been suffering lately. Seriously - they told me that a month was too long for anyone to maintain interest in events at IMS, and ever since then I haven't been able to focus on one thing for longer than a few minutes. And that's the story of why I think potatoes are evil!

Final Thoughts

I've been peppered all week on Twitter by a lot of my fellow media folks about how absolutely awesome the new NASCAR Hall of Fame is, and for that reason I am fully on Bill Potter's side when he says that IMS needs a new museum once the whole "rejuvenation process" around the Speedway gets underway. A series like IndyCar needs a big, sprawling museum - maybe not the size of the NCAA museum just down the road in downtown Indy, but something definitely bigger than what they have now. I can't even imagine how much awesomeness isn't even on display because there isn't enough space in the current building!

Look, I already think of IMS as my own personal Mecca, but this is racing, not religion - so we don't have to embrace austerity as a virtue in this case. Look into it, IndyCar. We need something on the scale of the Seven Wonders of the World (The Taj Rahal? The Grand Kenyon?).

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