Haiku Tuesday: Newton's First Law = AWESOMENESS
It's an improbable universe when we have Rusty Wallace to thank for the kind of excellent racing action we saw this weekend at Iowa Speedway.
The father of Stephen Wallace, the NASCAR Nationwide Series driver voted "Most Likely To Wad Up His Car Unnecessarily" and erstwhile hawker of 5-Hour Energy Shots, had a good driving career and currently enjoys a mediocre broadcasting life. But if Iowa Speedway figures into things at all, he may have a real shot at being an exceptional track designer. If Sunday's race is any indication, Iowa Speedway has become the best non-Indy oval on the IZOD IndyCar Series schedule.
In honor of a great race, we present a special set of post-race haikus. And we promise - only a few of them are corny.
Iowa Speedway.
Home of Bill "Pressdog" Zahren.
Capitol of schwerve.
Hey, Hugo Chavez.
Milka is big oil's worst move
Since BP's oil spill.
Midwest thunderstorms.
Black clouds, but not as dark as
Those over KV.
Sato's quite speedy.
Is there a way to save him
From all those brainfades?
Goodbye, Danica.
It's time to go back to school
At Taxicab U.
It has been two years
Since Tony Kanaan's last win.
Let's not go two more.
"TK Skywalker"
Struck back at the two Sith Lords
Roger and Chipster.
Sarah hit the wall.
She got up in the marbles.
Not those from Jack's head.
Bad luck for Frico.
His mechanical problems
Made Ashley's hat droop.
Hey, KVR guys:
Moraes' new motto is
"Wreckers, not checkers."
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One Busted Death Star, One Giant Leap for Haiku
The Red Car Death Star
Broken, beaten, defeated
KANAAN IS THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!
Aero, push to pass
Rules create better race
Than Richmond saga
Viso’s podium
Won’t quite pay for damage of
KV’s cars this year
Paul Tracy must call
KV shop to see if there’s
ONE FREAKING CAR LEFT
The Lotus gives up
Hates Sato, needs new driver
Green car goes on strike
Dead black cats lay still
Run over by the rookies
Of the IndyCars
So, fire one week
Broken crewman the next race
HVM snakebit
Barnhardt, it really
Is the time to park Milka
Don’t tempt fate like this
What was more classic?
TK’s win? Or Arute close
To busting his ass?
Goodbye to ovals
We will miss you. Danica
Misses you the most
Back to the twisties
Which will hopefully give us
A Swiss Miss sighting
Remember The Glen?
Bad Ass Wilson owning all?
Let’s see that again
Hey, wait a minute….
Race is on the 4th. Let’s see
An American win
12 hours of work sucks
last line should read “America win”
Why must my 12 hour shifts fall on Haiku tuesday?
by fleshwound_NPG on Jun 22, 2010 10:54 PM EDT up reply actions

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