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Haiku Tuesday: Newton's First Law = AWESOMENESS

It's an improbable universe when we have Rusty Wallace to thank for the kind of excellent racing action we saw this weekend at Iowa Speedway.

The father of Stephen Wallace, the NASCAR Nationwide Series driver voted "Most Likely To Wad Up His Car Unnecessarily" and erstwhile hawker of 5-Hour Energy Shots, had a good driving career and currently enjoys a mediocre broadcasting life. But if Iowa Speedway figures into things at all, he may have a real shot at being an exceptional track designer. If Sunday's race is any indication, Iowa Speedway has become the best non-Indy oval on the IZOD IndyCar Series schedule.

In honor of a great race, we present a special set of post-race haikus. And we promise - only a few of them are corny.

Star-divide

Iowa Speedway.
Home of Bill "Pressdog" Zahren.
Capitol of schwerve.

Hey, Hugo Chavez.
Milka is big oil's worst move
Since BP's oil spill.

Midwest thunderstorms.
Black clouds, but not as dark as
Those over KV.

Sato's quite speedy.
Is there a way to save him
From all those brainfades?

Goodbye, Danica.
It's time to go back to school
At Taxicab U.

It has been two years
Since Tony Kanaan's last win.
Let's not go two more.

"TK Skywalker"
Struck back at the two Sith Lords
Roger and Chipster.

Sarah hit the wall.
She got up in the marbles.
Not those from Jack's head.

Bad luck for Frico.
His mechanical problems
Made Ashley's hat droop.

Hey, KVR guys:
Moraes' new motto is
"Wreckers, not checkers."

0 recs  |  Comment 5 comments |

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NH One-Oh-Six
Highway to Indy Heaven
But don’t take Cup date!

Saw last NH race
Became Smoke fan on that day
Can’t wait for next year.

Best news of the week
Was Loudon Indy, but then
Bruins trade Wideman!

by Arenacale on Jun 22, 2010 7:50 PM EDT reply actions  

One Busted Death Star, One Giant Leap for Haiku

The Red Car Death Star
Broken, beaten, defeated
KANAAN IS THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!

Aero, push to pass
Rules create better race
Than Richmond saga

Viso’s podium
Won’t quite pay for damage of
KV’s cars this year

Paul Tracy must call
KV shop to see if there’s
ONE FREAKING CAR LEFT

The Lotus gives up
Hates Sato, needs new driver
Green car goes on strike

Dead black cats lay still
Run over by the rookies
Of the IndyCars

So, fire one week
Broken crewman the next race
HVM snakebit

Barnhardt, it really
Is the time to park Milka
Don’t tempt fate like this

What was more classic?
TK’s win? Or Arute close
To busting his ass?

Goodbye to ovals
We will miss you. Danica
Misses you the most

Back to the twisties
Which will hopefully give us
A Swiss Miss sighting

Remember The Glen?
Bad Ass Wilson owning all?
Let’s see that again

Hey, wait a minute….
Race is on the 4th. Let’s see
An American win

by fleshwound_NPG on Jun 22, 2010 9:18 PM EDT reply actions  

12 hours of work sucks

last line should read “America win”

Why must my 12 hour shifts fall on Haiku tuesday?

by fleshwound_NPG on Jun 22, 2010 10:54 PM EDT up reply actions  

Tell me about it!

Bad pick Peyton "Regular Season" Manning!!!

by Athletic on Jun 23, 2010 9:04 AM EDT up reply actions  

NIce haiku's!!!

Bad pick Peyton "Regular Season" Manning!!!

by Athletic on Jun 23, 2010 9:04 AM EDT reply actions  

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