Back in my hardcore NASCAR fanboy days I spent time reading the weekly "Power Rankings" on NASCAR.com because of the wit and numerous (and humorous) references to funny things about the drivers (like Ward Burton's immense and AWESOME southern drawl) and the OCCASIONAL professional ranking of the drivers.  It even had awesome driver quotes not printed anywhere like Ryan Newman calling Mike Skinner "Lynyrd Skynyrd". 

My question is this:  Why no IndyCar Power Rankings?!?!?

That shall be fixed.  BEHOLD!  Power Rankings....IndyCar style.

THE GRID

1.  Will Power

A Power Rankings WITHOUT Power in 1st place just wouldn't work.  Now that he's survived the 1st oval stint with the points lead it looks like he'll be P1 for at least the next 5 weeks.  The only thing holding him back is the lack of a nickname.

2.  Dario Franchitti

A Red Car with a mechanical failure while fighting for the lead?  There just might be a God.  Kudos to Versus for not immediately sending two cameras towards Ashley Judd's enormous hat like the "Worldwide Leader in Sports" would.

3.  Scott Dixon

Except for his odd wreck at St. Pete and his dominant win at Kansas we haven't heard much from him.  Which is typical and generally means he'll have the point lead before too long.

4.  Helio Castroneves

At Texas he fell victim to the KV Racing Carbon Fiberocalypse like most drivers this year, but he could've lost the title because of it.

5.  Tony Kanaan

He made a mad charge at Indy, pissed off Danica, won the neatest looking trophy outside of Indy, AND destroyed the Red Car Oval Death Star.  Just have one in-car camera for the races and put it on his*.

* except for when Paul Tracy races.  He needs about FIVE.

6.  Ryan Hunter-Reay

Even Michael knew having him unemployed for the 4th of July would unleash Robin Millerzilla to no end.  No need to look at the stock market ticker to gauge the economic recovery, just read the entry list every week to see if he's there or not.

7.  Ryan Briscoe

He's raced well the past few weeks....which means he's due for yet another crash.

8.  Justin Wilson

He JUST couldn't wait for the road courses, huh?

9.  Danica Patrick

The Princess did NOT like Tony Kanaan's move. (NSFW language)

10.  Marco Andretti

Isn't it just like Andretti tradition to lead early, get hopes up, and then fade late?

11.  Vitor Meira

This has to be the best I've seen the Foyt car look in a while....which means it'll disappear soon in a cloud of smoke and broken laptops.

12.  Dan Wheldon

Just checking....yep, still regretting leaving Ganassi for Panther.

13.  Alex Tagliani

Sounds like most people are happy Paul Tracy makes his return at the Glen this upcoming weekend.  NOT HIM.

14.  E.J. Viso

Perhaps if he can finish on the podium for the rest of the year he MIGHT pay off all that KV Racing carnage.  Maybe.

15.  Alex Lloyd

Doing what he's been doing since Indy is kind of impressive.  Doing it in a Dale Coyne car?  With Milka as a teammate?  Foyt territory.

DNQ (bumped from the field)

Raphael Matos

I've only seen him TWICE this year: a near podium at Brazil and wrecking at Indy.

Simona De Silvestro

She's wormed her way into our hearts....just not into Lady Luck's heart yet, sadly.  True story: in celebration of IndyCar returning to the road courses she recently had a cookout as seen HERE.  It couldn't be confirmed if the IndyCar Safety Crew was in attendance (just by judging the video, most likely).  

Takuma Sato

That whole "green racing cars are bad luck" myth....perhaps Lotus went too old school.  This enough?