The Paddock Pulse: June 9 Edition

Well, hey howdy hey everyone, and welcome to another fun-filled edition of the Paddock Pulse! Today, we have links, links, and more links to great content from around the IndyCar blogosphere.

It's also "Hump Day" today, which doesn't mean that you can go around romancing office furniture or put up posters of your favorite camel. Get your minds out of the gutter, people. Seriously. Your boss doesn't pay you for that. Unless you're in the "romantic services" industry or you are a camel tamer. In which case, HAPPY HUMP DAY!

Links after the jump...

• 59.65 Seconds [16th And Georgetown]
  Here is a nice moment-by-moment breakdown of Simona de Silvestro's Texas barbecue, which seems pretty disturbing until you realize that part of the delay on the part of the Holmatro Safety Team was due to the fact that they couldn't find the hot dogs and skewers.

• Are Engine Failures Always A Bad Thing? [Oilpressure]
  Okay, I'm going to save George the suspense and just give it to him with both barrels: "IT'S EASY TO SAY WHEN IT'S NOT YOUR MONEY BEING SPENT!" There. Now we can eliminate about 84% of the potential comments on this article. I'm always happy to be helpful. Because I have my finger on the pulse of the CRAZY COMMENTER CAMP.

• Fire response not indicative of safety team’s merit [Planet-IRL]
  P-Dalb (not to be confused with P-Dog, who is a different chap with less hair but more schwerve) comes out swinging in defense of the Holmatro Safety Team's issues during Simona de Silvestro's fire. Me? I just think that it's ironic that people are referring to it with the phrase "Keystone Kops" when I'll bet none of them have actually SEEN an episode of "Keystone Kops" like I have. Which means two things: first, that's pretty hypocritical, and second, DAMN I'M OLD.

• Erin Crocker Talks About Love, Life, and Her Return to Dirt -- Part 1 [pressdog.com]
  I honestly think Bill Zahren doesn't know the true meaning of the term "blog." He keeps violating the Unspoken Word Butcher Code by going out and doing all sorts of actual journalism and research and interviews and stuff. That's IN-YOUR-FACE REBELLION, Brother Pressdog!! If you're not careful, we'll make you strip naked and drag a heavy cannonball tied by chains to a neck collar and... what? You don't recognize that "Simpsons" reference? You don't watch "The Simpsons" anymore because it's repetitive and poorly-written? Well CRAP. How am I supposed to illustrate salient points by pop culture references that are already over a decade old??? STOP CRIMPING MY STYLE, DAWG!

• Firestone 550K (Texas) [the_race_gIRL]
  This is why I love Monica - right in the middle of her blog entry, she drops a "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" reference. BAM! That's right, you just got served with a pop culture reference older than Sebastian Saavedra!! What's worse? I WAS TOTALLY THINKING THE SAME THING! (Oh, and Monica? You'd be kind of a bitch too if, like Jan Hooks who played the tour guide at the Alamo, you knew that in 20 years you'd go from looking like this to looking like this.) *ring ring* Hello? What? I'm marked for death by Kirstie Alley for promoting a bad body image for women? Aw crap.

• Willy T. Ribbs Report: Texas [The Silent Pagoda]
  Now, I don't want to be a downer for ol' Roy on this one (because when he's depressed he usually responds by leaving piles of flaming poop on people's doorsteps, and I just had mine resurfaced). But there's something not a little ironic about the fact that Saturday's Texas race was essentially a NASCAR restrictor plate race run at about 2x speed, only with fewer cars and Push-To-PasOVERTAKE ASSIST. And seriously, hoss, when are you going to learn that that empty grandstand can only be filled by vast quantities of BOOGITY?? Y'all.

Final Thoughts

I'm still reeling about Jeff Iannucci's withdrawal from the blogosphere, I must admit. Part of the gloriousness of IndyCar blogging is that you know there's someone out there who does it right, and therefore that you get a little bit of residual trickle-down of the crazy folks who like reading stuff that isn't nearly as good to balance things out. When a guy with Jeff's talent for word butchery takes himself out of the picture, the people who come here all of a sudden tend to expect better-quality writing as a result. THE PRESSURE!

Well, fortunately for Pop Off Valve, we'll be able to raise our game a bit around here. With full approval from Jeff, My Name is IRL contributors Declan Brennan and Dale Nixon will be hanging up a shingle here while Jeff is on hiatus. I'm told that they will not be available for minor household repairs, however, which is kind of a bummer because now that burnt-out compact fluorescent bulb in my basement will have to recycle itself, and those things just don't respond well to intimidation.

We'll make an official announcement about Dex and Dale soon, just as soon as they stop begging and pleading tearfully at Jeff's feet not to make them write for that awful man are ready to get to writing.