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Friday Pre-Race: The Glen


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Wow.  The Red Car Death Star lost on an OVAL.  AN OVAL.  A short track.  Designed by Rusty Wallace.  In the heartland of America.  Figure that one out.

As I said before Richmond in 2009 produced the lowest form (and lowest point in the history) of open wheel racing.  Changes were made and heads rolled (well, one BIG head rolled).  The end result was nothing short of oval racing brilliance.  Returning to the scene of the crime (in spirit) produced yet more EPICNESS.  Kanaan, you ARE the man.  Even Danica thinks you're number one.  Wait, wrong finger.

My picks from Iowa were all jinxed.  Dario "done blowed up", Danica got fussy, and although I predicted Simona not running well all Hell broke loose in just a span of a few minutes and she parked it to escape any additional FAIL.  Should all the same happen again we could expect further awesomeness and me picking ALL RED CARS for epic jinxing in the future and for the rest of the season.

Now it's time to turn right again and travel to the sight of the Red Cars' greatest defeat in 2009....THE GLEN.  The ultimate underdog Dale Coyne Racing pimpslapped Penske/Ganassi with a win that proved that it just isn't a sport for kings.  Penske probably signed a few pink slips on the spot and Ganassi took a second depressing trip to the buffet line.  With Iowa fresh in their minds and returning to the site of such a defeat probably means the empire strikes back.  HARD.

Who takes home the prize during a holiday in which we celebrate by setting things on fire and getting burned?  Torch Club members Kanaan or Simona winning would make that the greatest irony of all time....but again, put your money on RED (cars).

 

THE FAVORITE (BEST RED CAR):  Will "That's his REAL name" Power  

Damn, it's been a while.  He's somewhat been confused by only taking left turns....mixing in some right ones always bring the best out of him.  Him winning would restore order in the galaxy.  It's been so long that he should pull away....since he doesn't believe in running with the pack.  

 



  THE BEST OF THE REST (BEST NON-RED CAR):  Justin "BAD ASS" Wilson  

He's probably had this date circled since January.  Wrecked the car in Iowa just to get a head start.  Probably hit the iRacing just as soon as he hopped out.  I'm a Mario Kart man myself....because what better way than to defeat Red Cars than with red shells?  

 



  THE MARTY "SLOTH" ROTH BACKMARKER (NOT NAMED MILKA):  Alex "Unfortunate Teammate of Milka" Lloyd  

The Dale Coyne car won this race last year and Alex's been looking good on the ovals recently.  Which means one thing:  FAIL AHEAD.  He wasn't the best road racer earlier in the year and DCR don't do hot streaks.  Besides, the Boy Scouts of America car on the 4th of July driven by a Brit doesn't provide the appropriate karma....or at least Robin Miller wouldn't think so.





Yep, picking a Red Car for the victory yet again....hopefully that jinxed them like last time.  Notice I picked ZERO Americans, because they need all the help they can get.  Marco will probably run out of fuel, Danica's cold streak earlier in the year began right after running NASCAR races, and RHR is getting set to start collecting unemployment again.  Yea, I'm not picking them.

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