Haiku Tuesday: Wine Country Edition

It has been said that 0.001% of IndyCar fans appreciate both racing and haiku. To which I say: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Prior to our yeoman-like efforts, that number was at 0.0001% - we're making progress, folks!

And thank goodness for that, because without a little creativity and outside-the-box thinking we'd probably be stuck in the same giant vacuum-hole of SUCK that emanates from off-weeks that everyone else is in. Seriously, why can't those lazy-ass race drivers put their necks on the line for us more often? It's like they need off-time or something. LUDICROUS! *cracks whip obtained from sources best left undivulged... okay, it's Hobbson's, and I don't know what the strange fungus is on the handle, which is why I'm wearing three layers of latex gloves*

Haikus after a not-very-significant-jump-at-all-but-watch-your-shins-anyway:

Off week it may be,
But even on city streets
Milka is still slow.

Preach it, young Rahal!
Though you are yet a rookie,
Still call out your peers!

Cotman got a job.
So does Robin move up too
Like Navy wives do?

One more road course race.
Then it is back to ovals.
Results won't change much.

Thank God for Twitter.
Without it we would not know
Danica's meal plans.

Which is more phallic:
Delta Wing, or new engine?
(It's a "stressed member.")

Thought experiment:
Blogger disses blog in blog.
That is so meta.

JR drives again.
The kid deserves it full-time.
Get on that, Randy.