Power Rankings: Mid-Ohio

I thought to myself after Helio went nuts over Moraes taking him out at Texas that "I can count with one hand the times I've seen Helio mad.  Ever.  And with a couple of fingers to spare."  Well, so much for that.  Other than the $60,000 fine he and Milka now share something in common:  Double secret probation from the Dean of IndyCar Brian Barnhart.  Does this hurt his Power Ranking?  Epic rampages such as that deserve a pass.  Had Barnhart actually stepped outside and Helio had given him a Chuck Norris roundhouse-kick-to-the-FACE he would've been number ONE.  Oh, well....

THE GRID

1.  Will Power

Previous ranking:  #1 (no change)

Whatever Dario showed him, it worked....

2.  Dario Franchitti

Previous ranking:  #2 (no change)

....perhaps it was pictures of him in Ashley's wardrobe?  With the oversized hat?

3.  Scott Dixon

Previous ranking:  #4 (+1)

This is how boringly awesome he can be; doesn't even lead a single lap and still wins.

4.  Ryan Hunter-Reay

Previous ranking:  #3 (-1)

At one point he was the highest non red car....MORE THAN TWENTY SECONDS BACK.  Spec racing my ASS.

5.  Helio Castroneves

Previous ranking:  #5 (no change)

Hell Castroneves

6.  Tony Kanaan

Previous ranking:  #6 (no change)

Didn't even bother to qualify.  This race and Indy are proof that qualifications are meaningless to him.  It just makes him look that much more awesome come race day.

7.  Ryan Briscoe

Previous ranking:  #8 (+1)

Dissapointed despite a decent finish.  Why?  Twitter-buddy Graham was MIA.

8.  Justin Wilson

Previous ranking:  #7 (-1)

Only two roadies to go.  That means only two more chances for him to win.

9.  Dan Wheldon

Previous ranking:  #9 (no change)

This guy used to be good, right?

10.  Danica Patrick

Previous ranking:  #10 (no change)

Terrible qualifying, did yard work during the race, and still gets a decent finish?  She's a 20th place roadie driver getting top 15 finishes and could be ranked top 10 soon in the overall points.  Figure that one out.  I can't.  Neither can she.  Don't think she cares.  To quote Danica herself back in May "At the end of the day it is what it is."  Those are like my two favorite overused athlete quotes of all time and she mashed them into one sentence.  Genius.

11.  Marco Andretti

Previous ranking:  #11 (no change)

A decent finish means he's allowed back to the mansion.

12.  Vitor Meira

Previous ranking:  #12 (no change)

Imagine had that been a young AJ instead of Helio.  The headlines would read "34 Dead, 145 Injured in Foyt Rampage"

13.  E.J. Viso

Previous ranking: unranked

Didn't make too many fans with that hopeless divebomb of the Swiss Miss.  Being the only non-Red Car in the Fast Six in qualifying and finishing despite the KV curse (which took a week off somehow) merits a nice bump up in the Power Rankings.  For now.

14.  Alex Tagliani

Previous ranking:  #13 (-1)

I was kind of hoping that was Schecker that took him out.  So was he.  He was more dissapointed in who DIDN'T hit him instead of the state of his own car.

15.  Simona De Silvestro

Previous ranking:  #14 (-1)

That's what happens when you qualify (or race) near a KV car.  A great ride gets ruined.  The dead fuel pump was just adding insult to injury.

DNQ (Bumped from the field)

Graham Rahal

Previous ranking:  #15 (no longer ranked)

You call Briscoe's wife "his old lady" and you weren't even going to show up for the next race?  You should've saved that for Mid-Ohio week!

Raphael Matos

It had been awhile since Paul Tracy properly chrome horned someone.  Sadly for Matos he just had to be the one in front of Paul when he realized such a craving for the horns.

Takuma Sato

Well, well, well.  The KV curse takes a week off and this guy gets a top 10.  Hell, ALL KV CARS did.