The Paddock Pulse: December 21 Edition

So here we are with the last Paddock Pulse of 2011, and let me just say that I'm gonna miss publishing it next week when I... when I...

AW WHO AM I KIDDING - I am going to be lying around my house in my pajamas, unshaven, unshowered, and too busy basking in the fact that I haven't moved in FOUR SOLID DAYS (necessitating a somewhat nasty cleanup operation courtesy of my kids, but hey, that's why they have the break from school, right?) to waste any effort worrying about publishing another issue of the Pulse!

So enjoy this batch of links as you wrap your presents, go caroling, try to fight the crowds at the mall because you forgot THAT ONE GIFT, etc., and enjoy your holiday. Remember, you need to stay safe so that when 2012 rolls around, you'll be back on board the CRAZY TRAIN that is Pop Off Valve and the Pulse.

• Senna [15 Days in May]
  There are certain movies you can wait to see until they're in dollar cinemas, on DVD/Blu-Ray, or when the bastardized, compacted, commercial-ridden hacked-up version makes it onto the ABC Family channel. Senna is not one of these. So if you haven't seen it yet, you are violating at least six natural laws and are an enemy to humankind.

• More Off Season Rambling… [anotherindycarblog]
  For those of my generation, "rambling" is correctly spelled, R-A-M-B-L-I-N... apostrophe. This was taught to us by Steve Martin, who you younger readers might only recognize as a banjo player who once made an entire generation think that Inspector Clouseau sucked donkey balls as a comic creation. And that is why you learn history.

• In Search Of An Underdog [IndyCar Advocate]
  When in this world the headlines read/Of those whose hearts are filled with greed/Who rob and steal from those who need/To right this wrong with blinding speed/Goes Underdog! Underdog! Underdog! Underdog! (Screw you with a red-hot branding iron, Phineas and Ferb.)

• Even in pain, Mann reaches out to others [More Front Wing]
  I have to admit that, as fine an article as this is, I'm a little upset at Paul because I have nowhere to go comedically with it. Hmm. Well, just imagine me making funny faces and sticking Q-tips up my nose or something (in other words, A TYPICAL WEDNESDAY FOR ME).

• Money…the name of the game [New Track Record]
  I was expecting an extended treatise citing Adam Smith and maybe some high-level financial theory from this, but this time Mark didn't even quote Pink Floyd lyrics. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SET THE BAR SO HIGH, MAN. Then again, not every blog can have a Dan Brown-style intellectual scavenger hunt hidden in the pixels, right?

• Why Do People Hate IndyCar? [Oilpressure]
  George here is dancing around some dangerous territory, which is the fact that there is a fetid, festering boil within the IndyCar fan community that continues to belch forth slimy, putrid mucus at the slightest provocation. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT MILLER'S MAILBAG! *rimshot* (It's pretty bad.)

• IndyCar Nails Investigation Report Release [pressdog.com]
  If Bill sounds relieved, it's because some of us were worried that this press conference would have the authenticity and information quotient of a Sarah Palin memoir. Fortunately, everything was clearly and succinctly stated. But hey, if you're still looking for second-guessing, there's always MILLER'S MAILBAG. (No really, it's awful.)

• Roundtable: Previewing the 2012 IndyCar Season w/ 4 IndyCar Writers! [Racing Mania]
  WHAT THE HELL. There was a roundtable and I WASN'T INVITED? I KNEW I should have been suspicious when Zach, George, and Bill sent me out to go pick up that pizza for them that turns out NEVER TO HAVE BEEN ORDERED. Sheesh, fellas, next time send me out for snipe. Seriously, guys, call me, because I can totally catch you one.

• Who Will Take Paul Tracy's $2M? [SPEED/Pruett]
  I'm disappointed that Paul hasn't even considered giving the money to ME. Hell, I live just across the Valley from him, and it'd be a damn sight easier for me to come pick up a check than it would be for him to find a race team who will do anything but clean out his bank account. Just give me a call, Paul!

Driver Tweet of the Week

@GrahamRahal: I wouldn't say it's huge but it has room. @JustinWilson22 will still be snug in here!

Last But Not Least

NOTTAFINGAH!!!!