The Paddock Pulse: March 2 Edition

Paddock Pulse Splash

So today, we had Bernie Ecclestone saying that sprinklers might be fun for races run under a cloudless sky to make F1 races more entertaining. GIMMICKRY! UNNECESSARY PROMOTIONAL MUMBO JUMBO!! HERESY!!!

What? IndyCar is running a twin-bill at Texas after Indianapolis?

Ehhhhhhh...

Anyway, lots of good stuff from the ol' blogosphere this week. You'll enjoy. Please to proceed for the clickings.

  • Frenetic Friday -- Row 3 [15 Days in May]
    This is the third in a series of fantasy Indy 500 field articles by Mike "Garth Algar" Knapp. I suppose you're wondering what happened to the first two. Frankly, so am I. (Ed. note: Ahem. YOU, sir, are the one who is responsible for linking the stories.) WHAT??? Come onnnnnn, man, can't I get an assistant for that? (Ed. note: No.) Slavedriving bastard.

  • Tony Kanaan heads list of IndyCar Series stars seeking a 2011 ride [FoxSports.com/Chris Estrada]
    I figure it's been a while since I've given Ponch a bit of Pulse love, so here's a piece he did for FOX. I always get nervous when I link to the "big" sites to help out a fellow blogger, though. What if I get Ponch fired? It happened to Tom Bowles at SI! Well, Bowles basically crapped himself out of a job by defending his unprofessionalism, but it's... well... okay, it's nowhere NEAR the same thing. Don't worry, Ponch - your job should be safe. I hope.

  • Six Quick Questions With Shannon McIntosh [IndyCar Advocate]
    HEY! WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU YOU COULD STEAL OUR SHAN, ZACHARY???? Huh? Shannon did? Oh. *looonnnnnnnnnnnng pause* Well. That certainly changes things. Um. Hey, Zach? You might want to ignore a certain UPS shipment with air holes in the box and a pungent scent of rotting meat and blood. No special reason why.

  • Vegas challenge presents INDYCAR with marketing options [More Front Wing]
    There is a Battle of Titans going on behind the blogosphere scenes. In one corner... PAUL DALBEY. More myth than man, able to leap tall metaphors with a single simile, and treated well by Robin Miller. In the other... STEPH WALLCRAFT. Deliverer of largest baby EVAR, Canadian, more melodious than a Robin Sparkles pop song. They are in a life-and-death struggle for pageviews!! WHO SHALL PREVAIL?? (Actually, this week it was Steph's turn, so that's why I linked her article. Sorry to kill the buzz.)

  • An Olive Branch Or Power Play? [Oilpressure]
    I'm a hockey fan, so natch, if I see the words "Power Play" I'll naturally gravitate towards them. Hell, I might not even READ the article in question - the words themselves are enough! I promise I read this one, though, George. So all of you readers, enjoy this great treatise on the man advantage, the art of puck movement, and how to wear down opposing penalty killers.

  • IndyCar Headquarters Reportedly Overrun by Insurance Salespersons [pressdog.com]
    Assuming this news article is true - and I have absolutely no reason to believe it isn't - my money is on that GEICO gecko. That dude is smooth. Plus, he has an indeterminable British accent that automatically renders him 7000% more awesome than any of YOU. Was kind of hoping that it involved those Free Credit Report guys, though. I still can't get that jingle of theirs out of my head.

  • The Fantasy Game [SPEED/Marshall Pruett]
    Digressing from Marshall's actual writing, you know what's awesome about this guy? HIS BEARD. Few guys in racing can rock the face rug like Marshall can. Oh, and also? He shares the same name as my favorite How I Met Your Mother character. Just thought you'd like to know that.

  • The Throne of Injustice [One Lap Down]
    I'll admit it. I read the headline and thought of a toilet. Should that worry me? I mean, is that an indicator of some critical mental shortcoming? It does not, in fact, refer to a toilet, but to the situation of the IndyCar most deserving of a ride who doesn't actually have one. Hmm. Maybe the toilet analogy isn't THAT far off.

  • Meet the IndyCar Bloggers - Roy Hobbson [Versus]
    Crack open a Venezuelan psychotropic toad (ewww), sit back, relax, and check out this brief yet enlightening portrait of A MAN. And hell YES I want reservations to "Scott's Food For Your Digestive Needs." Because if there's anything I love more than a good steak, it's "sufficient" food.

Driver Tweet of the Week

@JRHildebrand: Before headin' on back to Indy, @mikekitchel and I faked a gate change to hit 'the Potbelly's terminal' here in DC. Place is moneylicious.

Final Thoughts

For Charlie Sheen, "clapping in the press box" means an entirely different thing.

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