INDYCAR: Friday Pre-Race Preview (Long Beach)

The Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything....is 42. Since car #42 does not exist we'll add 4 and 2 together. The answer therefore is 6. Ryan Briscoe. Since Will Power is twice the driver, the real answer is 12. Add 1 and 2 together and the answer becomes 3. Helio? Ah, Hell a Penske driver wins. They do a lot anyways. So the answer to everything in the universe is Penske. Therefore every race preview the favorite will be a Penske driver. But Ganassi has a car #42 in his garage. Dammit. That means the answer to life, the universe, blah blah blah is Penske and/or Ganassi. Quick! Somebody scribble a #42 on either Kanaan's, Simona's or Hell, ANYONE'S car.

There are fans who complain about Barber Motorsports Park not having enough (or any) passing zones.  They say the track layout doesn't put on a good show for IndyCars.  Some might argue that it shouldn't be on the schedule…

….but here we are decades later returning to Long Beach.  It's the 2nd biggest street parade in racing.

*glances at Monaco with an evil stare*

So, will the double-file restarts improve THIS event at all?  The long straight should help separate the cars heading into turn 1, but it could be disastrous should anyone have hero-syndrome (aka: Helioitis).  The best bet is to start from the pole and stay as close to the front as possible.  Not only will you avoid the accidents that seem to happen with these starts/restarts, but with the lack of passing zones you're almost guaranteed a great finishing position.  Who should be the ones to watch for this weekend? 

Gee, I wonder who will be the favorite…

 

THE FAVORITE (BEST PENSKE/GANASSI DRIVER):  WILL POWER

Here's his personal itinerary for road course weekends:  1. Arrive at track 2. Be about one second faster than more than half the field during practice 3. Win the pole by nearly half a second 4. Lead most laps 5. Win 6. Pad points lead.  What's sad is that he almost always gets all six completed.  I know Simona De Silvestro's dream is to go to F1 (and Bernie wants her too, despite what he's said about women drivers before) but can we get this guy to go instead?  Like….NOW?

 

THE BEST OF THE REST (BEST NON-PENSKE/GANASSI DRIVER):  ORIOL SERVIA

So exactly why was this guy unemployed and passed-over?  Is he a good driver?  Check.  Is he one of the best NOT driving a Penske/Ganassi car?  Check.  Epic helmet?  Quadruple-check.

 

THE MILKA DUNO BACKMARKER AWARD:  EJ VISO

Street courses are narrow and have way too many walls and things to hit.  EJ Viso needs wide tracks with no walls or anything to hit (although that doesn't always work).  Also this week will have a big field (27 cars) making the likelihood of him hitting someone much higher.  There are also very few opportunities for passing at Long Beach, which will make EJ impatient and will make him want to pass someone....which will most certainly lead to contact as well.

This will not end well. 

Again.

 

 

 

Fun fact:  Speaking of Milka, she will be racing at Talladega today in the ARCA series.  That means she'll be going faster today than the IndyCars will at Long Beach this weekend.  Maybe.

If she wins they HAVE to demolish that place.  It is the DUMBEST race track in history.  Proof?  Check NASCAR's history books and you'll see several drivers have won their first race at that track....AND NEVER WON AGAIN.  Those crazy 'Dega fans deserve a REAL track.  Build another Bristol there....

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