HAIKU TUESDAY: Long Beach F-Bomb Edition
Look, I know that if you took the cuss words out of a driver's daily vocabulary, you'd be left with something that looks like a "Mad Libs" sheet, to wit:
I __________ can't __________ believe that that _____________ guy _____________ _________ed the __________ with that ___________ ____________, __________ it!
No race driver ever met an obscene gerund he didn't like, is what I'm saying. So when Marco Andretti let fly with his favorite adverb on live TV, it really shouldn't have shocked anyone.
Far more shocking, I'd think, are his sunglasses. Last time I saw those, they were on Paris Hilton. Gadzooks.
This week's poetry after the jump...
Ridiculous starts.
Drivers didn’t even try.
A labor dispute?
Wilson’s spin cycle.
Nerfed, then equipment failure.
A dizzy driver.
Mayhem on restarts.
But not one double-file.
Cue the clown music.
Kudos, Conweezy!
Maybe now they will replay
Your win, not your wreck.
Oh, E.J., my boy…
With your spins and wrecks, you have
Become a punchline.
Look! It’s Danica!
She did some passing on track
While turning right too!
No worries, Big Bird;
It may not have been a win,
But a strong finish.
Mayor of Hinchtown
Made us say "Oh Canada!"
While PT fumbled.
Newman-Haas Racing
Hasn’t looked so good on track
For a lot of years.
#Pippa500
Not a hashtag anymore.
Celebrate, Pippa!
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SCREAM FOR ME, LONG BEACH!
British Spitfire
Number 27 shoots
Down Red Car Death Star
Oh, no Helio
Chrome-horns Powerful teammate
The Captain’s not pleased
Speaking of chrome horns
Paul Tracy gives Simona
An alpine chrome horn
Restraining order
Hitting on a girl half
Your age, Paul Tracy?
The FUBAR’d restarts
Helio’s non-penalty
Yep, Barnhart must go
Shhhh!!! Don’t say a word
Danica Patrick had a
Nice Top-10 finish
City of Long Beach
Give a big shout out to the
Mayor of Hinchtown
Oh, EJ Viso
The perfect imperfection
Of three straight crashes

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