Today is the 42nd anniversary of men landing on the moon. Or, if you think like NASCAR's own Ryan Newman, the 42nd anniversary of the world's most-watched Hollywood sound stage shoot.
Either way, we should be commemorating great achievements in human history, which of course is why I'm posting the Paddock Pulse. I'm not saying that these blog posts are anything close to the level of accomplishment of sending three guys millions of miles into space without a toilet so that two of them could jump out for a few hours to get their spacesuits covered with moon dust. OR MAYBE I AM.
Anyway, enjoy these links as least as much as you might enjoy a fresh pouch of Tang instant breakfast drink or urinating into a relief tube. IT'S ONE SMALL CLICK FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR BLOGKIND.
My Take on Officiating [anotherindycarblog]
Ahh, Eric, Eric, Eric. You KNOW the only Black Flag that INDYCAR Race Control owns is a can of bug spray they use to keep undesirables out of the Inner Sanctum, right? And by "undesirables," I'm talking about me. In related news, Crest Whitening toothpaste does NOT, repeat, NOT remove the taste of insecticide from one's mouth.
JR Hildebrand's suprise gift from Panther Racing a big deal [ESPN/Oreovicz]
I wonder if John Barnes and Gary Pedigo would buy me a new car if I promise not to badmouth Panther Racing on my blog. Seriously, I could use one. My wife's minivan coughed up a transmission the other day and we can't keep bungee-cording the kids to the roof of my Matrix.
BATracer and Tempers [IndyCar Advocate]
I played BATracer once. My virtual team elected to miss a race in favor of going to a nearby web server to look at online porn, so I had no choice but to replace my electronic driver with that Microsoft Office Assistant paperclip guy. We had a shot to win, but he kept tapping my monitor glass and asking whether I wanted him to hit the gas pedal. DAMMIT!
ANALYSIS: IndyCar officiating in the spotlight [Racer.com]
You know, you can't spell the word "analysis" without "anal." I'm not exactly sure what that means, outside of the fact that any word that includes the word "anal" is going to get snickered at by people with the brains of 8-year-olds (including actual 8-year-olds). Bummer, Panama Canal. *snicker*
IndyCar Racing’s Nice Guy [Oilpressure]
I'm sure this was not intentional on George's part, but being labeled a "nice guy" in racing is like when that hot girl you finally mustered up the courage to ask to the prom says, "I'm so glad you're my friend. You're like a brother to me!" Girls really shouldn't say stuff like that, by the way, especially considering how badly most brothers treat their sisters. GUM IN THE HAIR!!!
Iowa Speedway President Says IndyCar Race "Is here to stay, period." [pressdog]
It's so strange to have an IndyCar ally in track management these day. But if P-doggy can be believed, the only cornholing the Iowa Speedway presidency wants to give the IZOD IndyCar Series is delivering a big box of fresh cobs to the infield barbecue pits. I LIKE MINE WITH BUTTER.
INDYCAR: "We Want Clean Racing At Edmonton" - Bernard [SPEED/Pruett]
Oh Randy. You're so ADORABLE sometimes. Actually expecting the IndyCar drivers to drive sensibly with a generous dose of situational awareness? That's like expecting my cat to ignore a giant plate of chicken out of principle. That kind of naivete is sorta sweet, you know? No, but seriously, they're not going to listen.
Driver Tweet of the Week
@RyanBriscoe6: how do I become a "woman of pressdog"? Haha..
Last But Not Least
Ya know, sometimes I wished people was like dogs, Luke.