The Paddock Pulse: August 10 Edition

Paddock Pulse Splash


  • Dan Wheldon, We're Lucky to Have Him! Now Get Him A Ride Please! [15 Days in May]
    I don't know if there has been someone whose image has been so thoroughly turned around like Dan Wheldon's since John Travolta got cool again in "Pulp Fiction." Word of advice, Dan - don't follow up driving the 2012 IndyCar with, I dunno, making a sequel to "Battlefield Earth" or something dumb like that.

  • What does competition mean? [anotherindycarblog]
    I have a better question. What exactly are "competitive juices"? 'Cause, dude, that sounds pretty gross. Or kinky. Or both. Probably not the best topic to explore in a racing blog, right? I'm sure Hobbson has some distilled in his basement. I'm not keen on exploring that topic any further.

  • Do You Like The Look Of The 2012 IndyCar? [IndyCar Advocate]
    Answering this question is like trying to answer your wife when she asks, "Does this leopard-print muumuu make me look fat?" Seriously, bro, there is NO GOOD ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION. Best just to find something to dull the inevitable pain you will be feeling in your junk.

  • Mid-Ohio: How can we wake up a snoozer? [More Front Wing]
    You know, I hear they asked that about Rip Van Winkle. Then some douchecanoe piped up and said, "I hear that sleepwalkers can kill you, beat you up, or eat everything in your icebox." So they let him sleep FOR A HUNDRED YEARS. Buttheads.

  • Random Thoughts On Mid-Ohio [Oilpressure]
    For thoughts that are supposedly random, these are pretty well organized. I'm onto you, George. YOU'RE A THINKER. And that makes you dangerous in the blogosphere to those of us who use our brains largely as an anchor for our optic nerves (otherwise our eyes would fall out. IT'S SCIENCE.).

  • INDYCAR – Probation Continues Lack of Credability Trend [Open Paddock]
    I was all ready to defend the concept of probation until Ryan Hunter-Reay basically giggled his way through an interview about it. Look, man, I can't do my job if you're gonna undermine me by not taking PROBATION seriously. That's it. YOU'RE ON NOTICE, HUNTER-REAY. Hey. Stop giggling.

  • Notes Taken During the 2011 IndyCar Race in Mid-Ohio []
    I usually say that Pressdog's post-race notes are the equivalent of a baseball box score - i.e., you can essentially re-imagine a race just by reading his notes. I think after Mid-Ohio I might be wrong, though, because the box score for Mid-Ohio basically should read "YAWWWWN." and Bill wrote a bunch more than that. ARTISTIC LICENSE!

Driver Tweet of the Week

@PhilGRacing: I mean, who orders cake and has no plans on eating it?

Last But Not Least

What you have to understand is, four days ago he was only my brother in name. And this morning we had pancakes.

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