Here at the Paddock Pulse, we occasionally like to change things up and depart a bit from the usual snarky comments on the links. And by "we," I mean "I" because I'm the only one who contributes to the Paddock Pulse, dammit.

In a couple of instances this has been because of a statement I wanted to make, but largely it's because I get lazy when I do this every week, and moreover sometimes I worry that the people who I generously honor with extra pageviews don't always appreciate being compared to Bolivian drug mules and potato abusers.

This week's Pulse experiment? I am quoting a line from each link out of context. In a couple of cases, this won't be funny at all because the author just decided against writing anything crazy or stupid (thanks a lot, fellas). But hey, I never promised you a rose garden, mostly because why the hell would I buy you a whole garden when property taxes are so ridiculous?

Anyway, enjoy the change of pace. I'll most likely revert to being insulting and gratuitously unfunny next week.

• RVM… WHAT!?! Another Coma? Edition [anotherindycarblog]
  "It’s a gorgeous facility and an amazing track to drive." Lies.

• A Trip To Kentucky [IndyCar Advocate]
  Last year, we ended up at the hilariously-named Big Bone Lick State Park, which was a nice way to work off some of the Cracker Barrel breakfasts.

• Willy T. Ribbs' blog: A horse out of pasture [RACER]
  I used to have my saddle on, but for the past 10 years I've just been out in the pastures with my head down and my tail wagging.

• Free at last [More Front Wing]
  Now that the constricting canister has been removed, the rest of the contents are free to grow and expand.

• Random Thoughts On Sonoma [Oilpressure]
  Why did I see Christmas decorations in a store this weekend?

• Spike Day: Free Simona! [Open Paddock]
  Lord I hope he doesn’t have to wear those pleather outfits in ads.

• Notes Taken During the 2011 IndyCar Race at Infineon [pressdog.com]
  Shut the CAKE HOLES, OK? Work with us.

• Gaynalysis: Indy Grand Prix of Sonoma [Queers4Gears.com]
  And, forget getting beads at Mardi Gras, I want a banana flavored Moon Pie!

• INDYCAR: Sonoma Rewind [SPEED/Pruett]
  ...it’s quite possible he’s a masochist.

Driver Tweet of the Week

@alex_lloyd: Somehow i doubt my local swimming pool is the preferred home of water moccasins!

Last But Not Least

What was I supposed to do - call him for cheating better than me, in front of the others?