The Paddock Pulse: September 14 Edition

Paddock Pulse Splash

I don't know about you, but the prospect of winning $2.5 million as part of the GoDaddy Challenge at the IZOD World Championships at Las Vegas Motor Speedway has me PSYCHED. I bet you every IndyCar fan in the world is rushing to the website to enter for their chance--

Hold on... what's that disclaimer say?

Open only to legal residents of the 48 United States (excluding Florida and New York) and the District of Columbia

WOO HOO! Now all those pesky Brazilian, Japanese, Canadian, and New Yorker IndyCar fans are out of the running - which means my odds of winning have improved to 1 in 18!!! ROCK ON!

Links after the jump.

  • What’s Going on in Indy Lights? [anotherindycarblog]
    Eric seems to think the Lights series needs fixing, which is the perfect segue to a truly awful joke, to wit: How many people does it take to screw in an Indy Lights car? (Answer: however many can fit in the cockpit! *rimshot*).
  • A Look At 2012 Ovals In IndyCar [IndyCar Advocate]
    The beauty of doing the Pulse is that you can take just about anything out of context, like, for example, this article title. At first I thought that Zach would be advocating adding TWO THOUSAND oval tracks to the IndyCar schedule; then I came to my senses. Although maybe that WOULD have prompted Danica to stay in IndyCAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
  • PREVIEW: Indy Japan Final [RACER]
    We Tonys have to stick together (RIGHT, MR. KANAAN???). So I'm posting this link out of solidarity even though MISTER DiZinno is getting paid more than I am by one of the sport's most respected names to write about racing. What I'm saying is that I'm being generous instead of, I don't know, going Tonya Harding on his fingers.
  • COUNTERPOINT: Should the blocking rule be retained? [More Front Wing]
    I like to imagine Brian Barnhart's and Tony Cotman's mental image of overtaking as a pair of race car drivers wearing monocles and sipping tea with pinky fingers extended, saying, "Oh, by all means, dear chap, please help yourself to the passing lane," and "Harrumph, harrumph, why, that's awful sporting of you my good man, pass the GODDAMNED GREY POUPON." Yeah.
  • Inside The Helmet – 2011 USF2000 Champ Petri Suvanto [Open Paddock]
    You know what's inside of Petri Suvanto's helmet? HIS HEAD. Sorry to spoil it for you, folks. That shouldn't keep you from reading about IndyCar's future Flying Finn, because the dude is GANGSTA. (I'm not sure how the word "gangsta" translates into Finnish, but I'm sure it involves Petri wearing heavy gold chains, making the "shocker" hand gesture, and saying, "SUOMI, MY BIOTCHES.")
  • Interview: Pippa Mann – IZOD Indycar Series Driver [Queers4Gears.com]
    In this interview, Pippa says she doesn't have a "gaydar." Which is good, because "gaydar" is one of the dumbest fictional concepts around, just ahead of McDonald's health food and just behind Ann Coulter's "soul." Although "douchedar" totally exists (although it's usually pointed 100% of the time at The Situation).
  • INDYCAR: Kanaan--It Wasn't My Time (SPEED)
    How badass is Tony Kanaan? At the end of this article, he jokingly trash-talks Greg Moore in heaven. Personally, I don't think Greg should take that - he ought to come down out of heaven, become mortal again, and rub Tony's nose in it on the track. (If only...)

Driver Tweet of the Week

@paultracy3: Thank the lord !!!!!!!!!! Dale made it

Last But Not Least

You see, they say that people shrivel up because they have an imagination. So, don't imagine anything, you'll become brave as hell.

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