The Paddock Pulse: January 11 Edition

One of the toughest parts of coming back from a holiday break is breaking yourself of the habit of sleeping in late, eating anything you want, and letting your brain turn into some sort of mushy fungus that looks - and thinks - like a giant Portobello mushroom.

The intellectual vacuum created by a couple of weeks' worth of whatever the opposite of critical thinking is (SEE? MY INNER THESAURUS IS ATROPHIED!) is especially daunting when you're sitting down to write an introduction to this week's Paddock Pulse, because if you're me, you know everyone's expecting you to be pithy and interesting, or snarky and interesting, or insightful and interesting... what I'm getting at here is the INTERESTING part is really important, okay?

Then you find you're three paragraphs into the introduction and you haven't said jack squat that would make anyone want to hit the jump and check out the links. So what do you do?

I'll tell you what I am gonna do...

HIT THE JUMP AND CHECK OUT THE LINKS.

• Geaux Beaux [15 Days in May]
  I was afraid someone was going to start in with the "Beaux" riffs. It's only a matter of time before someone writes, "Beaux Kneauxs Race Contreaulx." I pity that perso-- wait a second.

• Indycar Lore Pt.3; The Fastest [anotherindycarblog]
  I never knew Eric wanted to be a Wikipedia author. I encourage him to go for it. After all, there really isn't a less credible job below "blogger" (unless you're referring to a blogger who blogs about other blogs, and HEY THE PULSE IS A COMMUNITY SERVICE SO SHUT UP), so follow your dreams, young man!

• Racing/Automotive Graphic Embellishments (RAGEs) for your Entertainment, provided without comment, week ending Jan. 7, 2012 [Ground(ed) Effects]
  I was expecting RAGE COMICS in this post, but the lack of the "Y U NO Guy" and Chuck Testa is made up for by the labeling of the Dallara box as the "major award" from A Christmas Story. If only we had an audio clip of Chip Ganassi growling, "YOU USED UP ALL THE GLUE... ON PURPOSE!"

• Hinch Signing Simply Makes Sense [IndyCar Advocate]
  And thus we discover Zach Houghton's application essay for "Public Relations Manager of Hinchtown." Although I hear Hinch offers great benefits, including free showers at his sister's pet spa. Not saying you STINK, Zach, but...

• Meet Beaux Barfield [More Front Wing]
  Natch, the minute Beaux Barfield brought his exotic quasi-French first name into the IndyCar spotlight, Paul and Steph were there to get the first-person scoop. The transcript is interesting, but you really should listen to the interview in its original audieaux format. (I know, I know, I'm going to hell for that one too.)

• All the pretty hypocrites [New Track Record]
  CORMAC MCCARTHY! See, this is what happens you have English majors writing blogs. Of course, in earlier times before blogging, English majors had less recourse to float literary Easter Eggs at the fast-food joints at which they worked. "I mop the floors with 'OUT, DAMN SPOT!' tile cleaner! *snxxrxkx* HAR!"

• Jim Hurtubise: More Than A Showman [Oilpressure]
  Thanks to George for writing this, because really Jim Hurtubise ought to be known for being more than another one of Robin Miller's old-school "racers who make today's drivers look like total puss-wads."

• WHOOOOOSH! A look back at the results of over legislation in open wheel racing [WideOpenWheel]
  Paul's blog post is a great trip back to the past, but largely I am impressed by his ALL CAPS ONOMATOPOEIA. That's some serious mojo at work there, man.

Driver Tweet of the Week

@JRHildebrand: Words of wisdom: Act self-important, & you're destined to look like an asshole.. But it does help you get on the plane if you're super late.

Last But Not Least

It's like I was playing some kind of game, but the rules don't make any sense to me.