INDYCAR: The Friday Setup (Long Beach)

We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now, where was I? Oh yes, so I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time....

The Friday Setup" will be a preview of the upcoming races and the schedule of the weekend events (practice and qualifications) leading up to race day. Also it will include other forms of rambling about the upcoming race (and the overall state of IndyCar) by yours truly, because I got to somehow bring up the word-count so SBNation will allow the posting of this article/schedule so you can see it. Or something like that.

Ah, Long Beach. A classic venue with some nice straightaways for (some) passing. Also since it's on the west coast the start time is in the mid-afternoon...I GET TO SLEEP IN!!! SORT OF!!! Long Beach is the longest running North American street race and has been around since about the year nineteen-dickety-two, which was called nineteen-dickety-two, because the Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty".

Two races into the 2012 season and damn it feels good being a Chevy gangsta...except for this week. With all those Chevys starting at or near the back Long Beach is going to be a good show, and a chance for Lotus to actually have nearly all of their cars NOT start at the back and a shot at Top 10s. GO LOTUS BANANA!!! (Name a video that better describes IndyCar's engine competition) You have to think this is Dario's chance to climb back into the fight and/or Scott Dixon to not finish runner-up again this week and take complete control.

While we're on the topic of grid penalties you all have to remember everybody AGREED to these rules a while back and it makes no sense to change these rules mid-season. It would be unfair to those who have already been penalized. If anything they might have to ADD something extra to the penalties since Chevy obviously don't give a DAMN about 10-spot penalties by changing all of their engines. How about bringing back paddling??!? Change the engine? That's a paddlin. Questioning Race Director Beaux Barfield? That's a paddlin. Punting another driver? That's a paddlin. Faulty restart? That's a paddlin. Staring at Simona de Silvestro? That's a paddlin (hopefully by her).

Writing something creepy like that last one? That's a paddlin.

Writing a too-short Friday Setup writeup, with not enough IndyCar analysis and too many Simpsons references?

That's a paddlin.

DAMN.

(Race weekend schedule AND Pre-Race Snack of the Week after the jump)

TV Schedule (NBC Sports Channel)

Qualifying, Saturday 6pm Eastern
Race, Sunday 3:30pm Eastern

(INDYCAR 36 will air prior to pre-race)

Race Weekend Schedule of Events

ALL TIMES LOCAL (PACIFIC, just sleep in a little longer.)

(IndyCar-specific events in BOLD)

Friday, April 13th (uh oh...)

7:15 a.m. - Tequila Patron American Le Mans Series (ALMS) practice
9:35 a.m. - Team Drifting Challenge
10 a.m. - IZOD IndyCar Series Practice
11:15 a.m. - Toyota Pro/Celebrity Race Practice
12 p.m. - Firestone Indy Lights (FIL) Practice
2:15 p.m. - IndyCar Practice
3:30 p.m. - Toyota Pro/Celebrity Qualifying
4:15 p.m. - Pirelli World Challenge (PWC) Practice
5 p.m. - ALMS Qualifying

Saturday, April 14

7:15 a.m. - PWC Practice
8 a.m. - FIL Practice
8:55 a.m. - Team Drifting Challenge
10:25 a.m. - IndyCar Practice
11:40 a.m. - Toyota Pro/Celebrity Race
12:55 p.m. - FIL Qualifying
2 p.m. - IndyCar Qualifying and Firestone Fast Six
3:55 p.m. - ALMS Pre-Race
4:30 p.m. - Tequila Patron American Le Mans Series Race (2 hours)

Sunday, April 15

8 a.m. - FIL Practice
8:25 a.m. - PWC Qualifying
9:15 a.m. - IndyCar Practice
10:45 a.m. - Firestone Indy Lights Race
12:30 p.m. - IndyCar Pre-Race Ceremonies
1:15 p.m. (Approx.) - Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach IZOD IndyCar Series Race (85 laps)
3:40 p.m. - Team Drifting Challenge
4:15 p.m. - Pirelli World Challenge Race (1 hour)

Pre-Race Snack of the Week: The Baconator from Wendy's

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In the not-too-distant past Wendy's was somewhere closer to the bottom of the food chain of fast-food chains. Then they decided to add bacon to a sandwich and give it the greatest name in the history of burgers. Now only the McDaddy is above them. Coincidence? Think again. Adding bacon (and by the looks of the photo, a TON of bacon grease as well) to most things instantly increases the quality of the said item by an average of 82.73%. Also adding proper red-headed hawtness in commercials increases the quality of the fast-food chain.

Ah, hot redheads...is there anything they can't do?

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