The Paddock Pulse: May 2 Edition

Paddock Pulse Splash

IT'S MAY!!!

(Video courtesy of the IndyCar YouTube Channel)

You Mess With The Bull, You Get The Horns [15 Days in May]
John Barnes had to pay $25,000 for "disparaging" IndyCar on Twitter. So why don't those assholes who tweet me to tell me they're unfollowing me have to pay ME anything? Hell, I'd take $10 for a chalupa at this point.

INDYCON Level 4 and Origins Redux [Ground(ed) Effects]
This being May 1, just about every IndyCar blog out there is doing the whole "IT'S MAY!!!" thing (shut up, I know what I typed up there) - DZ just happened to have done it in a particularly nostalgic fashion. No, I AM NOT CRYING.

Welcome Back, Michel Jourdain [IndyCar Advocate]
Ahh - May 1996. The last time Michel Jourdain started the Indy 500, I was taking care of my 8 1/2 months-pregnant wife and thinking, "Diaper changing can't be THAT bad." Just so Michel feels as old as I do, that gleam in my eye is now DRIVING CARS.

OPINION: The sordid, sad, Shank engine saga [RACER]
The number of people outside the sport who are actually enthusiastic to try going IndyCar racing is a very small number. Some have said that it is as unquantifiable as string theory. What is sure is that kicking those people in the balls may be a fun pastime, but it's not a very healthy one.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: São Paulo [More Front Wing]
Among the many post-São Paulo recaps out there, this one at least included the proper tilde over the "a" - WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!

Indy Tenderloin Tour: Binkley’s [New Track Record]
Here is a blogger who knows how to kick off the month of May RIGHT. Also? PORK-WARNER TROPHY, BITCHES.

Learn The Driver’s Names [Oilpressure]
The man responsible for coining the phrase "Legions of the Miserable" with respect to pessimistic IndyCar fans brings the pain to those skeptical of "durtee furriners." GOD I love it when George breaks out the whuppin' stick.

Interest in Conflict -- This Still Isn't Miniature Golf [pressdog.com]
...but wouldn't it be kinda interesting if it WAS miniature golf? Imagine Marco and Graham tweeting trash at each other because Graham's ball blocked Marco's from popping out of the "Hole in One" hole. Oh, NELLIE, hide the apple cart!

Driver Tweet of the Week

@Hinchtown: #May

Last But Not Least

First you want to kill me. Now you want to kiss me. Blow.

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