INDYCAR: Power Rankings (Mid-Ohio)

It's a new personal DEEERRRRRRPP record....

We now have got a nice championship battle brewing between Ryan Hunter-Reay, Helio Castroneves and Will Power. However...

COMMENCE SILLY SEASON 2013, SO SAYETH GRAHAM RAHAL!!!

Yep, it's that time of year again. Time to speculate where which driver is going to which team...and who is going to write Dale Coyne a big check (with 3 days before St. Pete). To Hell with this season! There's only 3 drivers fighting for the title, and everyone else apparently (spare a few) have given up and are looking for OMG A GANASSI RIDE!!! Every single driver's agent is now set to Ramming Speed.

Something's got to excite us this week. It's Mid-Ohio after all.

Behold, Power Rankings SILLY SEASON EDITION.

CORRECTIONS: Despite his efforts, I forgot to rank Charlie Kimball in the last Power Rankings. Then, he gets hurt in the Mid-Ohio test where he'll have to sit out a race. To make up for this MASSIVE DERP I will rank him P14 for the next two rankings. Fair deal, Charlie? Also, I forgot to rank Mike Conway as well. Making this a DAILY DOUBLE DERP. He'll be P15 the next two weeks as well. Just what I need, an excuse to piss off AJ...

Both drivers finished on the podium, yet I forgot to plug them into the Power Rankings. With the complete lack of DERP the past two races (the levels were low for Toronto standards) somebody had to make up for it. You're...welcome?

THE GRID

1. Ryan Hunter-Reay

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Previous ranking: 1 (no change)

Contract year? I'm guessing somebody's getting PAID in the next few months...

2. Helio Castroneves

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Previous ranking: 4 (+2)

"He's done" - Nobody, right now.

3. Scott Dixon

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Previous ranking: 2 (-1)

Remember that post-Toronto press conference video IndyCar deleted that had him calling Rahal a "dickhead" a year ago? Shouldn't have pissed off the A-team, Grahammo...

4. Tony Kanaan

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Previous ranking: 3 (-1)

Signed with KV, so no issue here. There isn't a diva or a boss' kid for him to worry about on this team.

5. Will Power

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Previous ranking: 7 (+2)

Hard to believe that someone that's angry as him, twice flipped the birds on national TV and twice dropped an S-bomb on a live mic would ever be employed by the Captain OH NEVERMIND...

6. James Hinchcliffe

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Previous ranking: 5 (-1)

Team and sponsor? Got it made. Now, about his sponsor and what they MIGHT be planing on doing next year...

7. Simon Pagenaud

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Previous ranking: 6 (-1)

He's on a team full-time. Two years in a row. No, seriously! I'm sure he can't believe it, either.

8. Dario Franchitti

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Previous ranking: 9 (+1)

ALWAYS on his terms...

9. Alex Tagliani

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Previous ranking: 10 (+1)

Safe, unless somebody buys out the team owner and replaces him with Pagenaud...again...

10. Oriol Servia

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Previous ranking: 8 (-2)

Likely to stay, but somebody should tell him Panther Racing doesn't have a great record of paying its drivers, let alone more than one at the same time, probably.

11. Ryan Briscoe

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Previous ranking: 11 (no change)

Maybe THIS is the year for him leaving? Or are we going to ask the same damned question next year...

12. Justin Wilson

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Previous ranking: 13 (+1)

This is how much IndyCar has changed in the past few years: Dale Coyne Racing has become a destination worth staying at.

13. Takuma Sato

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Previous ranking: unranked

He may still hit things from time to tim, but he's hitting the podium with far more frequency than in the past.

14. Charlie Kimball

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Previous ranking: unranked

Sorry about that, Charlie.

15. Mike Conway

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Previous ranking: unranked

Don't have AJ hurt me, Mike... [hides]

DNQ (Bumped from the field)

JR Hildebrand

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Previous ranking: 12

John Barnes won't try to lose him. But will he pay him in full...?

James Jakes

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Previous ranking: 15

If the check clears...

Rubens Barrichello

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Previous ranking: 14

Just as long as Jimmy Vasser doesn't hire Michael Schumacher...

Marco Andretti

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Will never have to worry about Silly Season, despite how sometimes his finishing positions are ugly...AND SO IS YOUR FACE!!!!

Simona de Silvestro

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I thought about doing yet another 50 Shades of Grey parody about her, but I'm afraid if I go any further the story will indeed involve penetration. As much as I wouldn't mind thinking about vigorously typing that, it would land me in a heap of trouble.

Although I think she's too busy partying now to even bother reading whatever I post...

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