It's February, everyone! And did you know it's Leap Year this year? That means that everyone who was ever born on February 29th gets to have their sadly all-too-rare birthday parties!

I've been invited to a few of those parties over the years, but I usually don't go because the skeeve factor is pretty high. I mean, the last one I got an invite to was for a Sweet Sixteen party, which normally would be pretty sweet except that it was held at an assisted-living facility (just wait a second, it'll hit you).

A better reason to be happy it's February is that it means pre-season testing is underway and the beginning of the 2012 season is closer than ever. Yes, spring is on its way, and it's time for the training to start! Someday, they'll come up with a catchy title for that.

Hit the jump for this week's linkage.

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So last week I got razed for going light on the snark because of the SOPA/PIPA crap that was going on outside of our little racing world. Some folks got it in their heads that I redacted the snarky comments that usually accompany Paddock Pulse links to get out of doing work.

Well, I'm here to tell you right now that those people were totally, unequivocally correct.

In the interests of doing a total retcon on my behavior (which was inspired by me being distracted by someone microwaving some savory popcorn nearby... mmmm, popcorn), I will say that my laziness was actually an extended metaphor for how censorship and restriction of free speech and putting the power and control in the hands of giant media conglomerates and the RIAA and all those other assholes encourages a lower standard of creativity in media and entertainment.

I will of course be totally bullshitting you by saying this, but you will already know this, being intelligent and not at all prone to skipping these introductory paragraphs to get straight to the Pulse links like you are.

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So today is the big SOPA Protest Day, and instead of writing the Paddock Pulse I'm probably supposed to be writing to my congressman imploring him to vote against the bill.

What is SOPA? I'd tell you, except that Wikipedia is offline today to protest SOPA, so I don't actually know. It sounds like the first part of the word "sopapilla," which is a Mexican dish that I happen to like quite a bit, so I feel a bit conflicted.

Still, I probably will write to my congressman because usually anything that mixes technology, the Internet, and a bunch of sixty-something men and women who are still trying to figure out how to set the clock on their VCRs (they don't use DVRs because they "don't want to learn another set of consarned consonants, dammit!") is a recipe for a complete cluster**** (SEE, I'M BEING CENSORED ALREADY!).

Since I don't actually run the SBN network, I can't blackout my site in protest - so I'll do the next best thing, which is to redact all the tasty snark that usually runs in the Pulse to show solidarity for my fellow troglodytes who are fighting the good fight against the entertainment industry, who are sponsoring the bill and won't be satisfied until you pay at least 25 separate times for that copy of "Tik Tok" that you KNOW you love listening to even though you'd never admit it.

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One of the toughest parts of coming back from a holiday break is breaking yourself of the habit of sleeping in late, eating anything you want, and letting your brain turn into some sort of mushy fungus that looks - and thinks - like a giant Portobello mushroom.

The intellectual vacuum created by a couple of weeks' worth of whatever the opposite of critical thinking is (SEE? MY INNER THESAURUS IS ATROPHIED!) is especially daunting when you're sitting down to write an introduction to this week's Paddock Pulse, because if you're me, you know everyone's expecting you to be pithy and interesting, or snarky and interesting, or insightful and interesting... what I'm getting at here is the INTERESTING part is really important, okay?

Then you find you're three paragraphs into the introduction and you haven't said jack squat that would make anyone want to hit the jump and check out the links. So what do you do?

I'll tell you what I am gonna do...

HIT THE JUMP AND CHECK OUT THE LINKS.

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Happy New Year, everyone! It's time to wipe the slate clean and begin a new year filled with optimism and happinOMIGODTHEREARENTENOUGHOVALSANDBARFIELDISANASSANDTHEDW12ISAPIG--

Ack!

Sorry, folks, old habits die hard (although those are not necessarily my habits).

Anyway, welcome back from the holidays, everyone. Right now, depending on what time of day you're reading this, you're either waiting for the press conference in Indianapolis announcing Ron Beaux Barfield as the new face of IndyCar Race Control, or snarkily calling Beaux Barfield the Assface of Race Control (you know, to beat the rush at the beginning of the season).

For my part, I would like to welcome Mr. Barfield aboard and assure him that there's really no such thing as a "no-win scenario." No, really - I grew up in the 1980s, and I saw Star Trek II and Star Trek III, so I know whereof I speak.

Links after the jump off the bridge - enjoy!

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So here we are with the last Paddock Pulse of 2011, and let me just say that I'm gonna miss publishing it next week when I... when I...

AW WHO AM I KIDDING - I am going to be lying around my house in my pajamas, unshaven, unshowered, and too busy basking in the fact that I haven't moved in FOUR SOLID DAYS (necessitating a somewhat nasty cleanup operation courtesy of my kids, but hey, that's why they have the break from school, right?) to waste any effort worrying about publishing another issue of the Pulse!

So enjoy this batch of links as you wrap your presents, go caroling, try to fight the crowds at the mall because you forgot THAT ONE GIFT, etc., and enjoy your holiday. Remember, you need to stay safe so that when 2012 rolls around, you'll be back on board the CRAZY TRAIN that is Pop Off Valve and the Pulse.

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I drank some egg nog earlier this week, and while I was reclining back, basking in the savory aftertaste and massive stomach cramps, I thought to myself - "I really am lucky."

Why? Because every week I get to read great stuff in the IndyCar blogosphere and share it with YOU via our Paddock Pulse!

Of course, now that I look at it, I don't know if I should have hinted at an allusion that blogs might affect me the way egg nog does, because nobody wants to think that their writing makes people sick to their stomachs. Believe me - the only thing that's worse is knowing that your writing makes others ill (it's a curse I carry, but hell, at least I don't have to admit to liking Twilight).

Anyway, I'm fairly sure that not many of you are as lactose-intolerant as I am, so enjoy the sweet, creamy taste of the blogosphere with no fear of a subsequent need to camp out in the bathroom!

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I was going to go on and on about today being Pearl Harbor Day, and how appropriate the phrase "A day which will live in infamy..." was to describe another issue of the Paddock Pulse.

Then I remembered that Pearl Harbor happened 70 years ago and that the 18-34 demographic that SBN so desperately covets considers that to be in the same time period as, say, Napoleon or Quetzalcoatl, so I decided to bag it.

Anyway, it's December now and racing is entering the one month of the year where there's really not too much going on except for drivers downloading new apps to their smartphones and unwittingly spam-Tweeting thanks to a little-understood line in the app's privacy policy.

But the blogosphere NEVER SLEEPS (seriously, are you guys all hopped up on Tantrum or something?), so the Pulse nobly goes forth into the off-season abyss.

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