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The Paddock Pulse: Apr. 7 Edition

Paddock Pulse Splash
Paddock Pulse Splash

The Easter hiatus is over, and if you ask me the only redeeming quality of a weekend with no racing but plenty of references to Zombie Jesus has to be the six metric tons of Cadbury Creme Eggs, chocolate bunnies and Peeps still available for my consumption under my desk. (Yes, that means I stole them from my kids' Easter baskets. What do you want from me? Parenting?).

But with a new week comes new awesomeness from the IndyCar Blogtopia, and there's nothing I'd rather do than bring its savory goodness - like a nicely stale Peep! - to you for lingering, sugary consumption. Remember how nice I was to you when Child Protective Services come knocking at my door asking why my children are crying and strangely not bouncing off the walls from sugar rush.

Links after the jump...

  • Shaping the Indy Racing League's car of the future is no easy task [ESPN]
    Everyone always tells me that when the music stops, Roger "The Captain" Penske always has a chair. With that kind of record, why does it seem like ol' Rog doesn't even want to play the game anymore? Sorry, el Capitan, your idea that the series can survive on the shoulders of a decade-old car formula doesn't hold water - and there's no adult diaper to save you from embarrassment THIS time.

  • John Hughes Presents the @PaceCarTeam [is it May yet?]
    Oh, how I love snark when it's done right. Usually, I like to be the one who scores the EPIC WIN (sadly, just as I'm learning how to use that phrase properly, it's already falling into disfavor), but not in this case. It certainly is nice to discover IndyCar's homage to the great John Hughes, though. Can we say that Chip Ganassi is the stand-in for Uncle Buck? Doesn't matter, because I just did.

  • A Rare Gesture Of Loyalty [Oilpressure]
    Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all heard about Alex Tagliani repaying Bruno Junquiera's gracious gesture from last year by giving him a ride for the 2010 Indy 500. Personally? I think Tags just wanted to get some good PR after the debacle of naming his team "FAZZT."

  • An interview with Bruce Ashmore [Planet-IRL]
    Hey! It's Bruce Ashmore! I'm certain that his comments to Paul and Steph will be completely objective and not at all self-serving or promotional of BAT Engineer-- what? It's not April Fool's Day anymore? Crap.

  • Insiders Worry Bernard Doesn't Know His Place []
    If IndyCar was based in the "Lost" universe, then Bill Zahren would be the guy doing the reporting from the Sideways world. Except we don't know exactly what the Sideways world is. Maybe Desmond has the answers. Do you think The Man in Bla-- (Ed. Note: Woops. Sorry. I didn't issue the Geek Alert in time. I was eating some pumpkin seeds. SUE ME.)

  • You’ve Won Yet Again, Irony [The Silent Pagoda]
    I have to wonder if some of these aged, decrepit rockers that show up to IndyCar and NASCAR races don't roll like Tom Hanks' Jimmy Dugan from A League of Their Own - taking a 7-minute long piss, waving to the crowd and doing their required work with clenched teeth and muttered imprecations detailing their disdain for the masses, and then when their part is over retiring to a corner to scratch their balls for a couple of hours.

Final Thoughts

Two bits of good news - first, The_race_gIRL survived both a rear-end collision and the resulting avalanche of "That's what she said!" jokes with her admirable body and razor-sharp mind unharmed; and second, Sarah Fisher and Dollar General will have the services of the Son of 'Stache for at least one more race at Long Beach. Both bits of news are making me do a happy dance that, thanks to the lack of webcam coverage, you can't see - which is probably for the best. For all of us.