The Paddock Pulse: 2012 Car-Pocalypse Edition

There's nothing like a little change to make an IndyCar fan run screaming in terror and the IndyCar press start pointing at the sky like Chicken Little. Poor Randy Bernard. You'd think he had had enough bull working with the PBR (HAH! THAT'S RIGHT, MOFOS, I TOTALLY BUSTED OUT ANOTHER PBR PUN!!!).

Anyway, it's no use trying to link to anything else besides 2012 IndyCar announcement stuff from the IndyCar blogosphere today because... well, there isn't anything else, really. Hell, TrackForum is still rebuilding from the glowing radioactive remains left behind in the aftermath of the hologram-erific Droid X infomercial model unveiling glorified PowerPoint presentation and seminar. So yeah, there was a little bit of reaction.

Links and abbreviated snark after the jump...

Our first batch of links comes from ESPN, which largely express how underwhelmed they were about the announcement - after all, it certainly didn't live up to their own extensive and wholly unnecessary LeBron James reacharound. Tell you what, though - they certainly went all out in their headline-writing.

• The IRL may be nuts or they may just be overly ambitious. So far, it's hard to tell. [ESPN/Ed Hinton]
  Remember "Mr. Ed"? He was a talking horse. I think I'd rather read his articles.

• The Indy Racing League and Randy Bernard announced their grand plans for the new Indy concept car ... sort of [ESPN/Terry Blount]
  Yes. Terry Blount was expecting that the 2012 IndyCar announcement should have been like "a bleat from a vuvuzela." I'm not making this up.

• The selection of the new chassis for the IndyCar Series was as much about politics as racing [ESPN/John Oreovicz]
  IndyCar fans all over are in the strange position of admitting that John Oreovicz had one of the most level-headed and objective looks at the 2012 IndyCar announcement thus far. Which sucks for the guys making Oreo voodoo dolls and effigies. Brace for a downswing in business, boys!

...and then there was the split-decision from SPEED:

• 2012 Car Reactions [SPEED/Robin Miller]
  Hey! He likes it! Hey Robin!

• ICONIC Thud Or Thunder? [SPEED/Marshall Pruett]
  "I’m not sure whether to call it the ICONIC thud, the ICONIC dud or simply ICONIC confusion. Or maybe it was just what we needed." Any questions?

...followed by the blog-gasm from everyone else:

• Open Mic: July 14th Edition [The Silent Pagoda]
  This was written before the announcement. Hobbson hasn't been heard from since. But I hear the counter clerk at Long's Donuts was admitted to Methodist with footprints on his balls.

• Digesting Dallara's victory [Indy Racing Revolution]
  It was Ponch Estrada's birthday yesterday, so the windfall of articles he wrote means that he didn't have much time for cake. EAT YOUR FROSTING, YOUNG MAN!

• A Shocker if Nothing Else [Is It May Yet?]
  SPOILER ALERT: The shocker involves Brian Barnhart. CANNOT UNSEE.

• The 2012 IndyCar: A Bevy Of Mixed Emotions [Oilpressure]
  I drove my Chevy to the bevy, but the bevy was dry. What? Wrong song? I coulda gone with "Mixed Emotions" but I hated that Stones album. GIMME A BREAK.

• Initial reactions to the 2012 chassis strategy announcement [Planet-IRL]
  Stephanie's eating poutine and ketchup chips by now, so maybe - like those divine foods - the 2012 IndyCar decision is settling a bit in her stomach. This is what she wrote while the taste was still like ipecac in her mouth.

• And the Winner is ... Cost Savings and Speedway, Indiana [Pressdog]
  Pressdog sez: "Meh." He's a writer, you know.

• IndyCar's bold new Chassis move brings the business back to Indy [VERSUS/Jeff Olson]
  Jeff's happy about the hoped-for revitalization of Indianapolis. If it keeps me from getting carjacked at Long's, I'm all for it.

• And The Winner Is…… [You Don't Know Jack]
  Mr. Arute is very kind considering that he wasn't invited with his prop collection to help with the unveiling. OPPORTUNITY MISSED, INDYCAR!!!

Final Thoughts

Look, at first I was like, "DALLARA??? *gunshot*" But then I realized that given the number of conflicting agendas, the special interests at war with each other throughout the IndyCar world, and the necessity of pleasing the few remaining people left in this world who are bothering to still invest in IndyCar racing... well, I realized that ICONIC did one hell of a terrific job.

You can be underwhelmed that the new IndyCar isn't going to be a butt-ugly abortion on wheels with Star Wars technology like Formula 1. You can laugh at the ridiculous Survivor-style "voting" during the presentation and make fun of Randy Bernard's weird speech patterns and inflections. You can bitch, moan, whine, complain, and generally run for the fallout shelters now that the world is ending (again). It's a free country.

But ICONIC, with their engine and chassis recommendations, give Honda and Dallara their plums while opening the door for other companies to come in and play as well. With the chassis in particular, it takes everything about the Delta Wing proposal that was any good and incorporates it... then gets rid of the whole "penis on wheels" thing that everyone hated.

The fact that so far only one company - Lotus - has expressed active interest in building aero kits does not mean in the slightest that no other companies are going to come on board. Same goes for the motors - sure, Audi decided to act all huffy and say that since IndyCar wasn't going to build motors to their specs, they won't be bothered with the series... but that isn't a trend, people.

The worst-case scenario is that we start 2012 with 33 Dallara/Hondas. Which is what we have now - except that the 2012 Dallara/Hondas will be brand spanking new instead of rolling with nearly decade-old tech. Anything beyond that is pure gravy. Expecting miracles in as short a timeframe as we have - less than a year and a half - is just ridiculous. Just as ridiculous as saying that the ICONIC decision was a cop-out and that a better idea would have been to give exclusivity to Swift or Lola.

Oh, and while I'm venting - there's hope for the first time in years that Speedway and Indianapolis will get a revitalization that they sorely need. That may mean nothing to people outside of the city or state, but strengthening the core of the sport this way is critical for the growth of the series.

My bottom line is that the ICONIC decisions are based on hope and optimism. They made the best decisions they could within the limits of their capabilities. Who knows - when Dallara's contract to build the "Safety Cell" runs out in 2015 the series might be strong enough to incorporate more revolution than evolution. At least we're not going to be in for more of the same.