HAIKU TUESDAY: Getting lucky in Kentucky

Mwuahahaha!!!  The boss is on vacation!  He foolishly promoted me again, this time to Associate Editor!  The site he's worked so hard on is now all mine!!!  Heh, heh...so I guess that means his precious "Haiku Tuesday" is MINE ALL MINE once again!  Let the takeover begin...

 

So THAT HAPPENED. The final IndyCar race in Kentucky Speedway's history (most likely, judging by the crowd size) was mainly a boring one for the first 2/3rds of the race (except for the #24 team going blind and sending Beatriz into Power) until all Hell broke loose. Cars had minds of their own (literally) barreling into opposing pit crews, rookies taking out their own crews, and some drivers taking each other out also in the pits.

Then there was the finish.

0.0098 of a second separated the biggest team in racing with multiple championships (another one coming as well) with a near-invincible driver and the smallest team that's part-time and looking for a win with a driver that has never tasted victory either despite being oh so close. We all were waiting for Dario to make the final left turn into victory lane and spoil yet another race for us. Yet it didn't happen. As of October 2, 2011 Ed Carpenter is a race winner, Zoey Marie O'Gara is UNDEFEATED and Sarah Fisher proved to us that mothers ALWAYS know best. Sarah superfan Pressdog was indeed tweeting the day after in coherent sentences, which means his victory celebration was probably a bit restrained. Bill, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! If that were Simona de Silvestro crossing the line first the only thing left standing at my house would be empty bottles of Jim Beam, Jack, Goldshlagers (because DRINKING GOLD IS FOR THE VICTORIOUS), and paint thinner...with the smell of the latter substance being dominant for roughly seven months, peeling paint from the walls. Also I wouldn't be heard from (in English, anyways) for weeks.

I guess the events of Sunday would be inspirational enough for poetry writing, in seventeen syllable format of course. So here it is: the return of HAIKU TUESDAY!  EPIC FAST EDDIE CARP VICTORY EDITION!

(haikus after the jump)

 

Sarah and Eddie

Ran rings around the field

Death Star in pieces

 

A thorn in Will Power's side

YOU BLOODY WANKERS!

 

The Lucky Horseshoe

Jimmie Johnson's property

No more...DARIO'S

 

Porkchop talked the talk

Couldn't walk the walk raceday

Non-clutch performance

 

Graham mad at his crew

Hey Rahal, didn't you race

For Sarah one time?

 

The new schedule

Only five ovals next year

CART BACK FROM THE GRAVE!!!

 

Oval racing fans pissed

Hey, you should've bought tickets

Capitalism

 

Dollar General

You ditching Sarah's race team?

Hey, we will ditch YOU

 

Just one more raceday

With the tired, old Crapwagon

Fresh new cars coming