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The Paddock Pulse: March 16 Edition

Paddock Pulse Splash
Paddock Pulse Splash

Caesar is dead! CAESAR IS DEAD! Send the troops after Mark Anthony (the singer, not the Roman)!!

Yes, yesterday was the infamous "Ides of March." Tomorrow, of course, is St. Patrick's Day, which means we can all forget our two-thousand-year-old grudge against those bastards who killed Julius Caesar by drinking ourselves stupid after work! GREEN BEER FOR ALL!!

Oh, yeah, and we do have some links today - many more than last week, because I felt less lazy. Also? Because people complained. Apparently, a short Paddock Pulse is a WORTHLESS Paddock Pulse. SHEESH. Is there no pleasing you people?

Cornucopia of links after the Van Halen's "Jump"...

  • Ralph DePalma -- One Of Indy's Early Heroes [15 Days in May]
    Once there was a man who believed that tropical vegetation was not only edible, but better for you than other foods. He ate some fronds from a tree, only to discover that they disagreed with his gastric system - whereupon he vomited impressively and extensively. That man's name? Ralph DePalma. True story.

  • Six Quick Questions With Damon Sturrock [IndyCar Advocate]
    I urge all of you reading this to add Damon to your Twitter streams at @D_Stur_Racted. Then, once you have, make sure you spam him about your breakfast cereal of the day and how long it takes you to have a bowel movement. Trust me, Damon LOVES that kind of stuff on Twitter.

  • 26 – The Number that Makes Qualifying Must See TV [JP's Indycar Blog]
    I'm going to spoil the end of this article: "BRILLIANT." Fortunately, that doesn't give much away. I mean, it could be about Guinness commercials, right?

    It's not, though.

  • If records fall, it should mean something [More Front Wing]
    HERE YOU GO, PAUL. For the record, I'm glad that "We need more speed at Indy" finally means velocity instead of drugs. Because, man, that was a baaaaaaaaaaad sceeeene, brother.

  • Was Saavedra The Best Pick For Conquest? [Oilpressure]
    I think Robin Miller would say "No" to this question. Why? BECAUSE PAUL TRACY WOULD HAVE BEEN! And I'm sure Robin would have at least 4,500 words justifying that premise if you want to read them. Saavedra? He's alright. For a kid who left his team high and dry in the middle of a race weekend, that is. Que bueno!

  • New Streaming Policy Not About The Fans [Open Wheel America]
    Simba lets forth his mighty roar on the topic of online streaming, or the lack thereof thanks to the NBC/Comcast merger. I'd be LION if I said his MANE point didn't have TEETH. FUR!! (These puns brought to you by the Corporation for Supporting Unoriginal and Desperate Writers.)

  • Stay Strong on No Driver Cash Subsidies from the League, 'Nard Dog []
    Bill BLOWS YOUR MIND with this thesis - the one that says, "Drivers shouldn't expect cash handouts to race," a thesis that goes firmly against the idea that IndyCar ought to pay to have guys like Dan Wheldon, Tony Kanaan, and the aforementioned THRILL FROM WEST HILL get rides so that fans will buy tickets. You know, because they bought so many before, when they had full-time rides. Right?

  • guess we’ll just read about it the next day… [So… here’s what I’m thinking…]
    One thing the Pulse has just not had enough of lately is Meesh. And cursing. I have solved that, killing two birds with one stone finding two baby chicks homes with loving chicken mothers by linking this awesome rant. Someday, Meesh, I shall buy you a steaming mug of Tim Horton's best and let you beat my head into a pulp. Because that's what friends do.

  • Wait, Firestone Is NOT Tired of Racing [One Lap Down]
    Getting serious for a moment, how stupid is it that we might be losing Jeff Iannucci from the blogosphere AGAIN because of this NBC/Comcast merger? Of course, I think he still owns "My Name is IRL" so he could always go back to that, but MAN, Versus/NBC, why not slam your private parts into the trunklid of Lincoln Town Car? It'll accomplish about the same thing.

Driver Tweet of the Week

@PippaMann: I know in this day and age we're not meant to judge a book by it's cover, but naming your company "UpDike"...? Really?!?!

Final Thoughts

If you are not donating to help the victims of the earthquakes and tsunamis in Japan, you are a horrible, horrible human being.