clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The Paddock Pulse: June 1 Edition

New, 1 comment
Paddock Pulse Splash
Paddock Pulse Splash

I think if the afterglow of the 2011 Indy 500 were like Viagra, we'd all be in the hospital trying to get treatment before our peckers fell off.

I'm not kidding. The finish was that good. And for those of us in attendance on Sunday, well... it was probably the only time all year that we enjoyed being pressed together with 249,999 other sweaty, booze-breathed fellow human beings in such close proximity that you could probably spear a guy's kidneys just reaching for the cooler.

Thankfully, the IndyCar blogosphere is here to help us deal with the fallout from another Greatest Spectacle in Racing. So get reading and keep that buzz going, yo.

  • '500' Payday Breakdown [16th And Georgetown]
    Great. Now it's just a matter of time before the media starts calling Hildebrand's accident a "Million Dollar Mistake." WAIT! YOU CAN'T USE THAT!! (furiously begins scribbling on copyright registration forms)

  • Dan Wheldon Appropriate Winner for End of IndyCar Spec Era [Drive Hard, Turn Left]
    So if you ever wanted to know what it would be like for the Indianapolis Motor Speedway to be anthropomorphized into a fickle bitch who puts trick candles on your birthday cake, now's your chance to find out. Thanks, Bill!

  • 500 Recap: The Top 10 [IndyCar Advocate]
    I see what you did there, Zachary - on the fortieth anniversary of David Letterman's appearance as a pit reporter at the Indy 500, you pay homage by doing a top-ten countdown on your blog. Kudos! Oh... that was accidental? Erm. Sorry.

  • Indianapolis: Paul’s Race Day thoughts — Part I [More Front Wing]
    I'm posting this grudgingly. I mean, come ON, Paul - you didn't even show up for a freaking TENDERLOIN at the Mugseum & Bunapalooza?? But Steph was there, so that made up for you TOTALLY DITCHING ON US. (You're on notice, though.)

  • More Reflections On Sunday’s Race [Oilpressure]
    There's only one reflection you need to make, George - AND THAT IS THAT THE RACE WAS A GARGANTUAN CONTAINER SHIP FULL OF AMERICAN-MADE AWESOME. It was the Dos Equis Guy of Memorial Day motorsports! Keep it simple, my man.

  • Notes Taken During the 2011 Indy 500 []
    All you need to know about this recap to make you want to read it is that at one point Bill types the following: "Lightsabre [sic] sprouts from his cockpit." And THAT is how you get a double-entendre done, people.

  • Miller's Indy 500 Musings [SPEED/Miller]
    Like a giant, crusty tenderloin, Robin Miller makes his way to your digestive tract to wreak havoc on your stomach acid with his annual post-race recap.

  • Capturing the Indianapolis 500 [INDYCAR]
    That pic of Simona signing autographs with her burn dressings on her hands is photographic proof that the Dos Equis guy is a pansy who sits and cries quietly in the corner with Chuck Norris every time Ms. de Silvestro fixes them with her laser-beam stare.

Driver Tweet of the Week

@DanWheldon: Just won my 2nd Indy 500. So proud of everyone at @BHA @williamrast @WREyewear The fans rocked the Speedway too, love you guys

Last But Not Least

Television is not the truth. Television is a <expletive> amusement park.