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The Paddock Pulse: June 8 Edition

Paddock Pulse Splash
Paddock Pulse Splash

I guess my repeated assertions that J.R. Hildebrand isn't a Frankensteinian composite of Bill Buckner, Lindsey Jacobellis, Jean Van De Velde, and Patrik Stefan have lowered my reputation a bit in the eyes of the sporting media, so it is with great pleasure and relief I turn over the spotlight to my fellow racing bloggers again with this week's Paddock Pulse.

A brief note about this week's links list - A-FLAT!

Don't forget to tip your waitress.

This week's selection follows a very short jump...

  • Come on… Motegi’s not that Bad [anotherindycarblog]
    TRY TELLING THAT TO A HARDCORE INDYCAR FAN, MAN. No, really, it's like the switch to the road course (thus disrupting the equality of ovals and roadies) has unbalanced the Earth on its axis. Which is all kinds of terrible, because after all of the tornadoes, tsunamis, earthquakes, and other natural disasters, now people are going to be FALLING OFF THE DAMN PLANET.

  • IndyCar Series ready to rev back up at Texas [ESPN/Oreovicz]
    What's the only thing in journalism less original than a "random thoughts" column? A LINK TO A RANDOM THOUGHTS COLUMN! Thus, I defend my position as the least relevant blogger in racing. Thank goodness for Ann Coulter for making sure that there will always be a lower standard, though.

  • The Next Three Ovals: Who Wins? [IndyCar Advocate]
    Zach goes out on a limb here and says that someone besides a Ganassi or Penske driver will win one of the next three racHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry. I couldn't control myself. Not that I wouldn't love to see it happen, but I was informed that even with climate change the temperature in Hell is still in the thousands.

  • A Smaller View: Hannah’s first 500 [More Front Wing]
    On the one hand, awwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Hannah's blog is so frickin' CUTE. On the other, I'm very worried, because Hannah's blog makes the rest of us look like a dog eating his own poop. Pretty soon she's going to be syndicated, and then WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MY 7 PAGE VIEWS A MONTH???

  • The Good, The Bad & The Magical [Oilpressure]
    A guest blog at Oilpressure from Susan Scruggs, otherwise known as @chiapet58 on Twitter. Make sure you pay close attention to the "58" on the end there, because there are something like 922 "chiapet" Twitter handles out there and odds are you might contact an ACTUAL Chia Pet by accident.

  • Double-Header History Lesson [SPEED/Miller]
    If there's one thing that Robin Miller loves more than tenderloins and crankiness, it's looking back into IndyCar's past. As the series heads into Texas for the Twin 275 races, it's a good idea to check out Robin's article and transport yourself back in time to Miller's "salad days" (i.e., the days when Robin thought salads were Communist... for the record, he now thinks they're terror devices).

  • Herta Still Riding High After Indy Win [SPEED/Pruett]
    The only person more surprised than Bryan Herta when his car won the Indy 500 with Dan Wheldon at the wheel was the guy charged with getting the right kind of milk to the winner's circle. The kind of milk that builds strong bones and teeth just wouldn't do for Wheldon considering that Dan's teeth are mostly bridgework; I'm guessing that dental composite material requires 1%.

  • A Second Glance at May [Official IndyCar Blog]
    This blog was written by Cassie Conklin, who is entering her junior year at Indiana University-- OH CRAP. Hey, all you Butler freaks, GET BACK HERE!! Sorry, Cassie, I just lost 8/9ths of my audience because they're all Bulldog fans and mentioning IU to them is like yelling, "EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA!!!" in a crowded theater. You don't have to tell me how badly it stinks.

  • My thoughts on the Indy 500: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly [Through the Turbulence]
    Not one mention of Clint Eastwood or Lee Van Cleef here. At all. So disappointed.

  • Pippa Mann's Indy diary: A surreal experience [RACER]
    Read this diary of Pippa Mann's first Indianapolis 500 and you will come away with the certain knowledge that your drive to work without your morning coffee was not the Herculean feat of self-denial and perserverance that you thought it was.

Driver Tweet of the Week

@Hinchtown: It never ceases to amaze me how some people fail to understand the disastrous consequences of complacency and indifference.

Last But Not Least

You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.