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The Paddock Pulse: August 31 Edition

Paddock Pulse Splash
Paddock Pulse Splash

Here at the Paddock Pulse, we occasionally like to change things up and depart a bit from the usual snarky comments on the links. And by "we," I mean "I" because I'm the only one who contributes to the Paddock Pulse, dammit.

In a couple of instances this has been because of a statement I wanted to make, but largely it's because I get lazy when I do this every week, and moreover sometimes I worry that the people who I generously honor with extra pageviews don't always appreciate being compared to Bolivian drug mules and potato abusers.

This week's Pulse experiment? I am quoting a line from each link out of context. In a couple of cases, this won't be funny at all because the author just decided against writing anything crazy or stupid (thanks a lot, fellas). But hey, I never promised you a rose garden, mostly because why the hell would I buy you a whole garden when property taxes are so ridiculous?

Anyway, enjoy the change of pace. I'll most likely revert to being insulting and gratuitously unfunny next week.

Driver Tweet of the Week

@alex_lloyd: Somehow i doubt my local swimming pool is the preferred home of water moccasins!

Last But Not Least

What was I supposed to do - call him for cheating better than me, in front of the others?