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The Paddock Pulse: April 11 Edition

Paddock Pulse Splash
Paddock Pulse Splash

Off weeks suck, so naturally we're going to have four of them before the Indy 500 festivities get under way. Fortunately, we'll also have Long Beach and Sao Paulo in there somewhere, so we won't be WHOLLY bereft of IndyCar racing action.

Of course, the big question for us going into the pre-Indy stretch is, "If a great race happens on the track and nobody watches it on TV, did it really happen?" The other big question is whether we can get an electron microscope to be able to see the ratings from the next NBC Sports Network broadcast. (I think that one might be possible. I know a guy.)

But those are questions for another day - this post-off-week Pulse features some interesting variety ranging from an interview with an ex-racer-turned-drug-kingpin to a tell-all blog about former Firestone Indy Lights chief Roger Bailey.

We can jump off the ratings bridge later - hit THIS jump for some bloggy goodness!

So… What Really Happened in 1905? [anotherindycarblog]
I'll tell you what REALLY happened - right thinkin' patriots showed those Wall Street fat cats what was what in a celebration of conservative patriotism! (Source: Sarah Palin's US History: Rogue Facts)

Off Course: An Interview With Randy Lanier [IndyCar Advocate]
If you're looking for a change of pace, this blog post is for you. Zach does a Q&A with former racer Randy Lanier, who is currently serving a life sentence on Federal drug charges. No word if Lanier has a poster of Danica Patrick behind which he is trying to Dufresne his way out of the joint. Ahhh, Zihuatanejo...

Scott Dixon's blog: Starting strong, and getting a handle on things []
Figures that a guy who hasn't finished worse than 2nd all season would say that he's still trying to figure out the damn race car. ENOUGH FALSE MODESTY, MAN. Just get kicking everyone else's ass already and stop teasing us!

COUNTERPOINT: Did the new car live up to the hype? [More Front Wing]
Paul and Steph allege that even though they took up opposite sides of the debate, they actually agree with each other. Apparently, this means we won't get to see any hair pulling. Which is probably good because that stuff get stuck in drains and is really gross to clean out.

New Track Record’s Ten Worthless Opinions – Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama [New Track Record]
"NBC Sports, please add additional ass." Mark, you complete me.

Helping Sponsors Helps IndyCar [Oilpressure]
While I admire and respect people who buy IndyCar sponsor products, I am of the opinion that sales takes a back seat for these companies to exposure and viral presence. I will expound on this further after I finish the RC Cola I bought at Walgreens.

Uncle pressdog's Fireside Chat & Festival of Catharsis []
Now look, you who read my friend Meesh's blog know what REAL VENTING is like. Well, here's the thing - Bill is a very low-key, very Christian guy who as Will Rogers as they come. This screed is about as close to a GRAND MAL RANT as you are likely to get from the 'Dog. So pay attention.

IndyCar Playlist: Pippa Mann [Queers4Gears]
Pretty solid list of tracks here, except that there is surprisingly little representation from Great Britain's own Oasis on here. PIPPA. YOU MUST REPRESENT, MY DEAR. Even "Champagne Supernova" would have sufficed.

47 year-old Al Unser [Bert Blogging]
I bet you woke up this morning and thought, "I need to find another reason why Al Unser is so awesome." Look, I don't know why you're being so hard to please - I mean, the guy's body of work speaks for itself - but FINE, here you go. Now stop whining.

Roger Bailey reflects on his amazing career []
This blog by Gordon Kirby, who has spent the years since being an official mouthpiece for Champ Car making Robin Miller look like Tony Frigging Robbins, is actually a great chronicle of Roger Bailey's career. Bookended, of course, by a few paragraphs of "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG" from Kirby and Bailey. Good times.

Driver Tweet of the Week

@Hinchtown: Thanks, [Best Western], for the fresh remote. Can't tell you how many times I've lost sleep suspecting my remote was unfresh.

Last But Not Least

You know you're not too funny today, fat man.