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INDYCAR: The Friday Setup (Detroit)

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It's so cold in the D...
It's so cold in the D...

"The Friday Setup" will be a preview of the upcoming races and the schedule of the weekend events (practice and qualifications) leading up to race day. Also it will include other forms of rambling about the upcoming race (and the overall state of IndyCar) by yours truly, because I got to somehow bring up the word-count so SBNation will allow the posting of this article/schedule so you can see it. Or something like that.

Ratings are up. The oval-spec car is asphalt-midget levels of ballsy entertainment. Lead changes happen nearly by the lap. We just witnessed possibly the greatest Indy 500 of all time.

Only two words can derail such on-track momentum:

Belle. Isle.

Oh, God. HELL ISLE? WHY MUST YOU FORSAKEN US, INDYCAR? For the past few years the race after Indy is usually either The Milwaukee Mile or Texas; brilliant racing. Now I have NOTHING against road/street courses, as we’ve seen this year they’ve actually had some entertaining shows this year with the new car. But Belle Isle? Where the number of passing zones and hairpins are…ZERO?

No wonder Panther Racing’s John Barnes wants Randy Bernard’s head on a lance. And of course Tony George supports such anarchy. Not surprising to see such diehard oval IRL-istas leading the charge to end what great momentum and work that has been accomplished since the ‘Nard Dog was hired two years ago. The ONLY good point the Bernard haters make is that there are too few ovals on the schedule and places like Belle Isle doesn’t create great racing…

[suddenly remembers 2007 and 2008 Belle Isle winners]

Hold up. TK and Badass Wilson? THEY won? Now THAT’S what I call proper entertainment. No Penskes, no Ganassis winning? GIVE ME 100,000mg OF THAT AND SHOOT IT INTO MY EYEBALLS. Maybe Hell Isle might actually give us great racing…and a HELL of a lot of DERPs for amusement (and Dallara’s bank account). Hey, Simona's Lotus has to finish ahead of SOMEBODY.

What’s even better is the rainy forecast for much of the weekend.

Hell Isle. The American Toronto. With added water. WE HOPE.

Hopefully that will shut up the haters and rebel owners.

(Race weekend schedule AND Pre-Race Snack of the Week after the jump)

TV Schedule (ABC)

Race, Sunday 3:30pm Eastern

Race Weekend Schedule of Events


(IndyCar-specific events in BOLD)

Friday, June 1, 2012

8:00 a.m. – 8:20 a.m. Pirelli World Challenge Practice (GT/GTS)
8:35 a.m. – 10:35 a.m. GRAND-AM Rolex Series Practice
10:55 a.m. – 11:40 a.m. Firestone Indy Lights Practice
12:00 p.m. – 1:00 p.m. IZOD IndyCar Series Practice
1:20 p.m. – 2:20 p.m. GRAND-AM Rolex Series Practice
2:40 p.m. – 3:25 p.m. Firestone Indy Lights Practice
3:45 p.m. – 4:45 p.m. IZOD IndyCar Series Practice
5:05 p.m. – 5:40 p.m. GRAND-AM Rolex Series Qualifying
6:00 p.m. – 6:20 p.m. Pirelli World Challenge Practice (GT/GTS)

Saturday, June 2, 2012

8:00 a.m. – 8:45 a.m. Firestone Indy Lights Qualifying
9:00 a.m. – 10:00 a.m. IZOD IndyCar Series Practice
10:15 a.m. – 10:45 a.m. Pirelli World Challenge Qualifying (GT/GTS)
11:00 a.m. – 11:30 a.m. GRAND-AM Rolex Series Final Practice
11:45 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. IZOD IndyCar Series Qualifying & Firestone Fast 6
1:15 p.m. – 1:30 p.m. Firestone Indy Lights Pre-race
1:30 p.m. – 2:30 p.m. Firestone Indy Lights Race
2:45 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. Cadillac V-Series Challenge presented by Metro Detroit Cadillac Dealers
4:55 p.m. – 5:05 p.m. GRAND-AM Rolex Series Reconnaissance and Pace Car Laps
5:05 p.m. – 7:05 p.m. Chevrolet GRAND-AM 200 at Belle Isle presented by Metro Detroit Chevy Dealers

Sunday, June 3, 2012

10:45 a.m. – 11:15 a.m. IZOD IndyCar Series Warm-up
11:45 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. Cadillac V-Series Challenge presented by Metro Detroit Cadillac Dealers
3:00 p.m. – 3:30 p.m. IZOD IndyCar Series Pre-race
3:30 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. Chevrolet Indy Grand Prix presented by

Pre-Race Snack of the Week: Turkey Hill "Party Cake" ice cream


So, it has come to my attention that somebody around here celebrated a birthday recently. To celebrate...BIRTHDAY CAKE-FLAVORED ICE CREAM.

This picture was taken THE MOMENT I first opened up the carton after purchasing it. As you can see a lot of it was already gone by then. Confused, I wondered where was the missing ice cream? I then discovered the spoon you see pictured was already there. And I felt 25 lbs. heavier. I soon realized this stuff was so good that I had already eaten it before I knew I did. INCEPTION EATING!!!

Yes, this stuff is amazeballs. How do I describe the flavor? Imagine a unicorn (of course ridden by Brian Boitano) flying across the sky and jumping over a rainbow, and taking a sh*t in a box. Then mixed with 25,000mg of Zoloft and cocaine.

Birthday cake flavor...the new cookie-dough.